********
Foreword
********

    Six months after putting out Chapter Five of "Clean," I finally return
with this new offering. Times have been very stressful for me: in my
darkest hours, I have turned to writing for some sort of comfort. What you
see here is a culmination of boredom, inner turmoil, pain, depression,
death, and joy. I literally have megabytes of potential Chapter Sixes to
"Clean," but I thought this was the most appropriate.
    This chapter takes you back to the beginning, if only for a glimpse.
    Now, if only this story hasn't been forgotten because of my long
absence...

Disclaimer: Everything associated with Sailor Moon is in no way, shape, or
form owned by me. I don't intend to make any money off of this; that's up
to the larger than life corporations out there. All that jazz about Sailor
Moon in tons of disclaimers out there apply.

email: doniswong@hotmail.com

Rating: R (cussing)




                                  "Clean"
                                 Chapter 6

                                 A fanfic
                                    by

                                    Don




    I stood outside the Hikawa Shrine, my back against a tree. As the cool
autumn breeze whipped by, I hugged my light windbreaker closer to my body.
I felt cold, but it was only skin deep; warmth spread through me like wild
fire, warmth of house and home.
    But most importantly, warmth of friends.
    Absentmindedly, I looked at the steps leading up to the shrine - yet
again, they were littered with fiery brown leaves. Seemed like that all
year round. I still remembered days when I would come running down the
street, late for another meeting (though somehow, never quite as late as
Usagi) and see Rei diligently sweeping the leaves, simultaneously engaged
in some conversation with Makoto or Ami. No matter how long or hard the
girl worked, the leaves never seemed to leave. Through winter and summer,
drought and typhoon, the leaves dropped, almost as if reminding her of her
duties.
    If I was her, I'd go nuts in a heartbeat.
    My watch read 3:15 pm. I had been standing here for twenty minutes
doing nothing but listening, watching, remembering. All the while, I had a
goofy grin on my face - not quite a smile, but the corners of lips were
turned slightly upward as if happy but too afraid to giggle.
    So many memories. So many wonderful memories.
    Then, down the street, her figure appeared. She had a bag of groceries
in hand and a gloomy look on face. A part of me was scared - Rei was never
gloomy (steaming mad or dangerously violent, yes, seen that many times, but
never gloomy) - and another part of me said, "What are you waiting for?! Go
help her!"
    And it wasn't talking about helping her with the groceries either.
    So, I hauled myself up and stretched a little bit before jogging to
meet her.
    I could smell her fragrance from far away and feel her downcast eyes
burrowing into the sidewalk. Her shoulders were tense, defeated and
downtrodden. I couldn't see her face very well - her raven black hair
draped over many of her features - but I knew she was pale, and, if at all
possible, a bit thinner and weaker.
    I stopped a few steps in front of her, waiting for her to notice me.
She didn't until she almost plowed me over.
    As she lifted her pretty little head up, I beamed happily and greeted,
"Hey Rei."
    It was the wrong salutation.
    She tried desperately to smile, to draw from those deep reserves and
muster some kind of reply; she failed miserably. Instead, she forced out a
crooked sob-like cough, her mouth slightly open and words slightly forming,
both forced back at the last possible second.
    She seemed to choke on whatever she was about to say.
    I sensed it plain enough, almost painfully so in fact. Swooping down to
grab the groceries, I switched gears and adopted a more solemn approach.
"Came as soon as I heard," I said with a heavy heart, "How are you holding
up?"
    "Minako..."
    I put my finger on her lips and made a quieting hiss. "It's alright.
Usagi told me about it a few days ago. Hopped on the first flight back to
Japan."
    Her eyes thundered with gratitude and for shortest of moments, a smile
breezed by. Then, as if remembering Grandpa's state, she grew somber again.
    "He died so suddenly," she whispered as we walked, "The doctors said it
was a major stroke in his brain. I... I... wasn't even there. Maybe if I
was a little more attentive-"
    From what Usagi said, Rei had been down in the dumps. A few weeks ago,
Grandpa had been off-handedly complaining about dizziness and pain. It was
the what I dub "old people guilt trip." Goes something like: "Look at you
young ones, always running around. My back hurts and my eyes don't see
straight anymore! You'll be sorry when you get to be my age!"
    Most of the time, the comments meant little in the literal sense; they
were merely conversation starters. But, to an over-zealous, big-hearted old
man who was suffering but didn't want his haggard granddaughter to know too
much, those words became his only way to express the pain. No one suspected
anything until that fateful night, Grandpa Hino fell asleep and never woke
up.
    Only then did the signs become obvious. Rei, with her abilities, was
particularly hard on herself about the entire thing. A little voice in her
kept telling her, "If only you listened..."

-----------------
*****************
-----------------

    "... if only you listened..."
    I rolled the words over my tongue, tasting the spite and bitterness.
Artemis sat across from me, his furry body draped over the back of a red
velvet chair. His eyes were puffy from crying and he was visibly ill -
maybe not physically, but certainly emotionally. I swallowed the lump in my
throat, the lump which consisted of those four words, and closed my eyes to
the world.
    After a long time, I finally said, "So I'm guessing you saw her?"
    A slow, somewhat curt nod was his reply.
    Could've guessed it: after an entire month's disappearance, Artemis
came back, haggard and bedraggled. He wouldn't talk to anyone, only sit in
his room and cry; even Luna couldn't reach him. He became mechanical,
eating to survive and nothing more. Then, all of a sudden, today, I found
him in my room, staring at me from under those bloodshot eyes. He began
talking, hitting all those sensitive spots with renewed vigor, places we
have been and jointly decided to never be at ever again.
    I assumed it was the doing of Minako. No one could affect him so. No
one. Of course, I had my suspicions, but I... I was always too afraid to
ask. Afraid because I couldn't take her rejection. Afraid because I
couldn't take the truth. These past few years, the very mention of her
incited tears and trepidation in each one of us - Minako's name sent us off
into an emotionally charged "discussion."
    "Did she seem well?" I whispered, lightly brushing upon the subject.
    Retreating back into his shell, Artemis shook his head while still
glaring at me. His face was scrunched up, trying to form a feral hiss but
not quite having the strength to.
    "Please," I softly begged, "Talk to me. We'v- I've been worried out of
my mind about you! You disappear into thin air then reappear just as
quietly. Come on. Talk to me. At least... at least tell me what she
thinks... tell me if she hates me..."
    He croaked from the deepest pit of his stomach, "With every fiber of
her being..."

*****************

    The moon cowered behind the dark branches, asleep under its blanket of
clouds. We sat in complete silence, the quietus of the night interrupted by
an occasional, watery slurp. The steps were ice cold and I felt it even
through my thick jeans. Feigning annoyance, I glanced at my companion and
grimaced.
    Rei peered at me quizzically and asked, "What?"
    "These," I said, pointing to our Slurpees, "It was a terrible idea: ice
cold drinks on ice cold steps on an ice cold winter night? What were you
thinking?!"
    "I didn't hear you protest when we were at the store."
    "Well, I am now."
    With that, we continued drinking, each silently engaged in our own
little thoughts. At least, I thought Rei was thinking - I was busy moaning
over the pseudo-ice-cream headache I was experiencing. Quite consciously, I
hugged my jacket closer to my body and set down my fountain drink.
    "How can you stand this?" I asked, my breath visibly freezing as it
left my mouth.
    She merely shrugged and stared straight ahead into the street, seeming
to be pondering some deep mystery. She looked so... so... ponderous, but my
gut told me she was thinking about nothing. That begged the question: why
did she ask me over in the dead of the night? Didn't she know I had a
flight tomorrow?
    Sheesh, some people. Can't deny 'em. Can't kill 'em.
    As I reached for my Slurpee (my poor little brain finally able to
withstand another shot of chilliness), Rei reached out and intercepted my
mitten clad hand. The first thing I noticed was her drop dead serious gaze
burrowing into my soul; the second was the fiery temperature of her palm.
    I giggled at the latter observation. "Wow. Warm hands coming from the
ice queen - how ironic."
    "Minako," she breathed heavily, "I have something to tell you."
    Whoa. Wait. Time out. Something important was going to go down and she
was going to lay it on thick. I recognized that look now. It was the
pre-"We're gonna face certain doom and I got to tell you something" look.
What got me was the fact that the world wasn't coming to an end.
    Or was it?
    Well, if it was, then I didn't know about it which made this incident
all the more mind-boggling. Therefore, I put my money on the world not
coming to an end, just Rei having a few words of wisdom to give to me.
Either words of wisdom or tons of problems.
    Hey, maybe she was... was... "Are you seeing somebody?!" I nearly
squealed.
    The comment knocked Rei of kilter - her eyes grew impossibly big and
her mouth twisted into one of those shapes you didn't see every day. If I
wasn't so high from the possibility of Rei seeing somebody, I would've been
shocked at her expression. Actually, I was quite shocked at her expression.
    I just didn't show it.
    "N... no... NO!" she stammered, finally regaining her composure. She
glared at me with one of looks reserved for Usagi - I merely shrugged it
off. "Baka Mina! Are you always this boy crazy?!"
    I mockingly wiggled my finger in face. "Sorry Rei, you're not changing
subject now! Remember: fool me once, shame on me, but loose lips sink
ships."
    We both grimaced at the words that came barreling out of my mouth.
    "Minako, you-"
    "Got it wrong, I know, I know."
    Silence descended upon us again: we resumed sipping our Slurpees from
the over-sized, neon straws. However, it was a little different now -
tension was building. Uneasy, overwhelming, uncomfortable tension. I felt
fidgety, so I squirmed under my thick clothing. I felt cold, so I bunched
up into a ball. The stone against my bottom was freezing, so I wiggled
around, desperately trying to warm my perch with the friction produced.
     I looked like a squeamish, butt wiggling ball of clothing. Apparently, 
my motions grated on Rei's nerves, enough so that I began to see a vein bulge
out of her forehead. Hesitantly, I poked at it, trying to see if it would
pop.
    Angrily, she slapped my hand away.
    I was about to snap at her, but then I remembered why I agreed to even
be here at this hour. She needed somebody to be with. She needed some
support. This was, after all, the day after Grandpa's funeral. The man she
had known for nearly her entire life was no more, and damn it, I knew it
hurt.
    It had to.
    That tension never left us. We sat, slurped, sighed. I was beginning to
think one of us would crack under the pressure, but we didn't.
    Rei stood up, stretched, bid me goodnight, and calmly walked back into
her home. I was alone for the next few hours, a feeling of dread running
through me. It was that nagging sensation, that thing from the depths of
your soul that keeps chanting "You should've done something!" when you
should've done something.
    For once, being a bumbling hormone-driven friend had lead me astray.
Maybe I should've heard Rei out and tried to help her. Maybe I should've
held back my tongue. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Should've, should've, should've.
None of it changed the one fact I knew: something was wrong and I didn't
help it.
    When my Slurpee bottomed out with that distinct hollow sound, I dusted
myself off, cast a final look at the eerily dark shrine, and walked down
the street, the setting moon behind my back. I didn't have the courage to
face what was in there.
    Monsters? Yes. Daimons? Yes. Emotions? Well, I could only deal with
one: love. Despair and depression weren't my forte. That talent belonged to
Mamoru.
    But even as I turned the key to my house, checked my luggage which was
lounging lazily in the living room, patted my cat who was passed out on the
heater (undoubtedly having gorged himself with high quality tuna - he
didn't get much it back in England), and checked my plane ticket back to
London International, that feeling hounded me.
    Friends for life, wasn't it? Sisters for all eternity, correct? Senshi,
comrades in arms, right?
    How come I was feeling like a deserter?

-----------------
*****************
-----------------

    I didn't believe him. So, I did what any rational person would do.
    I threw him out of my room.
    No, not in the friendly manner but in the haul-you-up-by-the-collar,
brute force kind of way. I refused to buy into what Minako was saying, what
he said Minako was saying. It wasn't true. It wasn't her. She had never let
us down - through thick and thin, through good and bad, she never left our
side. Disagreements were plenty, arguments were too numerous to count, but
brutal hatred never entered the picture.
    Never anything that couldn't be worked out.
    I mean, we're the real thing, the real saviors of the world. We're
genuine super-heroines. Nothing bad ever happens: we'll persevere and
overcome. More than that, we're a family, and family just didn't walk away
from each other.
    Oh, was the Purging wrong? Yes, it was. There, I've said it. It was
wrong and downright crummy, but it was also our last resort. OUR last
resort. Not mine. Not Minako's. Not Usagi's. Our's. And guess what?
    It's worked out for the best.
    She couldn't hate me; she just couldn't. Deep down inside, I knew she
didn't. After all, she was never one to deal with anything outside the
happy and positive. I mean, didn't she see this world, this creation, as
something good? Didn't we get rid of those emotions she couldn't bear?
    Didn't she appreciate my effort?

*****************

    10:30 am. My flight was boarding and everyone was still there. After
watching me leave, they'd see Ami and Hotaru off, then Haruka, then
Setsuna, and finally Mamoru would drive everyone home. I hoped they'd stop
by Rei's first and give her some company: maybe they could give her the
comfort I couldn't.
    "We'll miss you Mina-chan!!!" screamed Usagi at the top of her lungs.
    I accepted her more-than-suffocating embrace and returned it. I guess
over the years, our hugs had become some kind of friendly competition to
see who could choke who to death first. Whenever we'd hug, minna would roll
their eyes and try to shield their faces from the ensuing onlookers staring
at us.
    Haruka was still trying to come up with an acidic name for our childish
outbursts. I think she finally settled on calling us "special" and leaving
it at that. Fortunately, whenever she was about to attach something more
scathing onto the quip, Michiru would clobbered her in the arm, forcing her
to hold her tongue.
    As the living daylights were quickly escaping from my vision, I cast
glance at the entire group and sighed. I wondered when we'd have another
chance to be together like this. Sailor Senshi we were, but real life kept
us apart; hey, I mean, even superheroines had to eat, drink, and buy
extraordinarily expensive CDs, right?
    Well, not so much the CDs if I ever managed to get to figure out that
MP3 to CD thing-
    Suddenly, dark blots threatened to rob me of my consciousness. I then
remembered the aforementioned sigh - much precious air was lost.
"Usssssaaaaggggiii," I gasped, "AIR!!!"
    She broke off, a sheepish but triumphant grin on her face. "Gomen," she
blushed.
    Everyone else seemed to crack up as I crumbled to the floor
convulsing.  Honestly, did they have no respect for the dead?
    Setsuna took a hint and helped me to my feet, her strong frame
supporting my jello-like body. "Take care," she smiled in that motherly
way, "And enjoy college. It's one a once in a lifetime opportunity."
    What was that in her voice? A hint of regret? Some hidden foreboding?
Perhaps bits of-
    "Hush up and get on the plane!" hissed a very irate, crushed, and
asphyxiated Artemis - he was neatly folded away in my carry-on handbag.
    I quickly said my goodbyes and promised to stay extra long when summer
vacation rolled around. There were lots of parting tears and loads of
waving cheers, but one person was noticeably withdrawn from the
festivities: Rei.
    I felt bad, real bad. Somehow, I knew I was responsible for her pain. I
wanted to repay her, to set things straight... if only a little. I walked
over to her, my arms outstretched for a hug.

    But, I never got the chance to express myself.

-----------------
*****************
-----------------

    At precisely 10:53 am on the cold December 13th morning of the year
2001, the world exploded.
    Well, at least our world did.
    Apparently, Setsuna's predictions were a little off: the enemy had come
early. The result? Massive chaos and genocidal massacres. Us, the fabled
Sailor Senshi, were trapped in a rapidly collapsing airport filled with
confused victims. Blood of innocent people surged up and down the floor
like flooding oceans, and me?
    I was standing apart from everyone else, drowned in my own lake of
sorrow.
    I remember feeling fear and death. If it wasn't for Minako, I would've
succumb to the latter sensation. She dived at me, knocking me off my feet,
knocking me back into the world, knocking me out of harm's way.
    The roof fell around us, and somehow, we survived.
    Everyone else wasn't as lucky but I didn't have time to care: Minako
was hurt.
    She gazed up me with pained eyes and searched herself for wounds. Blood
was splattered all over her leg, the result of an enormous gash that ran
down the side of her thigh. We were transfixed by the graveness of the
situation.
    Then she softly whispered, "Are you ok?"
    Tears hit me. So compassionate and self-sacrificing... I wondered
exactly how much she and Usagi were alike. Even now as she lay bleeding -
perhaps to death - she thought of other people, of their safety.
    I was fortunate to have friends like those. She made me want to be like
her; she made me want to pay her back even if I was to destroy the world.
At that very moment, I grew up. I saw my selfish ways, my nagging demeanor,
my unbearable faults. With those three words she breathed from her mouth,
Minako made me hate myself.
    And I am eternally grateful.
    So I ask: how could she hate me? The Purging was a selfless act, an act
of kindness and redemption. It was my thank you, my way of taking away all
her pain like she did mine. I waited centuries to pay her back.
    Wasn't she grateful?
    We saved each other's lives countless times, but a person only grew up
once. She not only saved my life, she helped me become me.
    I was only helping her become herself.

-----------------
*****************
-----------------

    I sit down on a rock while listening to the crashing waves. Off in the
distance, a shimmer in the skyline breaks through, glistening like an
unpolished diamond. The sand under my feet shifts with the billowing winds,
shifts so hard that I put on sunglasses to shield my eyes. Little specks of
water pelt my face and cool my skin from the setting sun.
    It's so peaceful here.
    Like a child, I pick up a rock and hurl it into the sea, letting it
glide through the air before being sucked into the depths below. The action
brings back memories of... of... fun times, of friends and family. And God
knows I miss those things.
    Even as I shy away from the glistening pillar known as the Crystal
Palace, I can't help but feel at home. I scoop up the sand in my hand and
shake my head, watching as each grain blows away, taking my home with them.
Soon, my hand became lifeless, lifeless like this barren, war torn shore
which once was part of the bustling city, Ako, Japan.
    So many lives, so much hope, all decimated by our war.
    And the spoils we reaped were worse than the blood we shed.
    Sad. Really sad. Sadder still is my draw to the souls inside that
palace. I feel obligated to close this final distance between us and return
as their leader. I am so close to that beckoning call - the call that draws
Sailor Venus but repulses Aino Minako. I'm helpless, a victim of dreaded
destiny. No matter how much I fight, a part of me will always want to
return. A part of me will always hope. A part of me will always love. A
part of me will always have faith. A part of me will always draw me closer
to them.
    That part of me is exclusive of me, Minako. The warrior pushes me
forward but the frail human holds me back.
    Deep down, I know the wrong we have done. Deep down, I want to help
them correct that wrong.
    But I'm tired. Too tired to help anymore.
    While the spirit of Venus pulses as strong as ever, I am broken. I am
tired of fighting and never seeing a reward. I am tired of sacrificing. I
cannot - will not - stand my sorrow anymore. I will not follow my destiny.
It is one thing to be reborn after a thousand years and fight for a dream;
it is another to fight a thousand years for that same dream.
    The future be damned to-
    Someone behind me coughs.
    With a cat's grace, I spin around, my senses full alert. Though the
battle which raged in this place is long over, the fighting still lives on
in myself. In the blink of an eye, I am ready to continue the war, a
dreaded side effect of Sailor Venus.
    "Um... hi?"
    I immediately let my guard down as I see this pale woman standing
behind me, her body shielded from the elements by a large, patchwork cloak.
    "Sorry," I laugh uneasily, "Natural reaction."
    The woman only smiles. "I'm sure."
    I resume my watch of the ocean, occasionally glancing off to the left, off
to the towering palace. Taking another rock in hand, I throw it with all my
might almost as if one stone held the power to destroy that world. I sigh
heavily when stone falls short, tumbling into the frothy waves.
    "Nice throw," says the woman as she sits down in the sand.
    "It's all in the wrist."
    Another heave, and yet again, it falls short.
    "Why are you throwing in the direction of the Crystal Palace?"
    As I haunch over to pick up another rock, I cast a glare in her
direction, and still, despite my hostility, her innocent gaze - complete
with wide inquiring eyes - never falter.
    "Because I'm sad," I finally reply as I recline back into a sitting
position.
    I feel her eyes on me. She waits to hear more - she thinks I haven't
completed what I want to say. She expects me to tell her why I am "sad."
She sits there, looking at me, only inquiring, never judging, never
probing. She patiently waits for me to continue, but I fight the urge to
say anymore...
    ... until I crack.
    Shaking my head and chuckling darkly, I finish my statement. "The
Crystal Palace brings back bad memories."
    "Memories of what?"
    I toss another rock at the crystallized formation: this time, I get a
running start.
    As I throw, I grunt, "Memories of death."
    Again the projectile sails into the water.
    When I return to my perch, the woman nods her head and casts her eyes
away from me. Staring intently into the sand, she whispers, "So you lost
someone in the war too?"
    "I lost a whole city of people," I automatically answer.
    "Sometimes, it's hard to hold onto..." she stifles her tears, "... hold
onto what you believe. I lost a friend on the last day of that war,
probably my best friend. We were like sisters. Her last words wer-"
    My brain suddenly registers something. "What did you say?"
    The woman looks at me strangely, "My friend and I were like sisters?"
    "No, before that."
    "Sometimes it's hard to hold onto what you believe?"
    "Yeah," I nod, "Why did you say that?"
    The statement seems so out of place, so straightforward and calculated
unlike the previous bit of conversation.
    "Because that's how my friend died."
    Oh. "And she died because she didn't believe anymore?"
    "She didn't believe in the people around her." The woman edges closer
to me, her gaze burrowing deep into my soul, "She lost her hope. She lost
her will to fight. She lost her faith in us, her friends. When the enemy
came, she was swallowed whole while everyone else wondered where she was.
We needed her, but because she wasn't willing to listen, she died and we
fell apart."
    The woman slowly looks away and sighs. "I worry about her all the
time."
    "You talk about her like she's still alive."
    "She is, if only in my heart."
    That last line touch me in ways no one could imagine. For a second, I
thought Usagi was speaking to me. Those words were spoken with so much
intensity, love, and sincerity that even I had to shed a tear.
    I sniff, holding back the other tears threatening to barrel forth at my
first signs of weakness. Like many times before, my sorrow only comes out
as a cough.
    "What about you?" the woman says, "You seem to be good at holding back
your pain. Who did you lose?"
    "Everything. My home, my friends, my family, and most importantly,
myself. I was betrayed-"
    "By who?" she suddenly cuts in.
    "By people whom I trusted and loved."
    And she weeps. She weeps for me - at least, that's what I guess. Still,
I ask for clarification.
    "Don't tell me those tears are for me," I lightheartedly mutter.
    The woman shakes her head and curls into a defensive ball. Geez, did I
hit that sensitive of a nerve? "Was it something I said?" I ask, afraid
that I caused such grief (but I don't see how I could've).
    Again the woman shakes her head.
    I angrily snarl in disgust.
    Fine, lady. Be that way.
    I'm through with crying. I'm through with feeling sorry for myself. I'm
through with feeling hopeful. I'm through with faith.
    I need to know and to experience.
    Casting a final, doubtful look in the direction of the Crystal Palace,
I stand up and start walking away from my life and into my destiny. I guess
some things mortals - not even Sailor Senshi - were ever meant to know,
ever meant to discern.
    It's time to acknowledge the past and return to the future. The way I
figure it, I could spend an eternity finding "the answers" to my questions;
I could spend another eternity trying to comfort myself. But you know what
they say: answers bring more questions and comfort brings more pain.
    I could look within myself and ask, "Was the Purging wrong? Are people
better off now or then? Are my friends my betrayers or my saviors?" I could
span the world looking to escape, to play the role of a lover, killer,
angel, or demon.
    In the end, if I don't return to the scene of the crime, will I ever
know my answers? Will I ever know my comforts?
    I know one thing though: I can never soundly rest again knowing my
wrongs.
    But then, I have long since passed that point, ever since I took my
first life. The stain of murder will always be on me, Purging or no; now,
it's not a matter of soundly resting but of resting.
    Do I go back the ones who broke me and hope they dull the pain? Oh, I
know they can dull the pain, but can they put me back together? Will they
have already fixed their world and cleaned their bloody names?
    I need to go back, if only to make sure that I can, once for all, hate
them for the mongrels they are. Then, I can truly regret ever saving any of
them... especially Rei.
    Especially her.
    I need to know if I doomed the world by sacrificing myself for the
Sailor Senshi.
    I need to know: can the wounds we dealt heal? Can they ever go away?
    The answers are in front of me and now is the time to go back, for
better or for worse.
    Besides, I need more reasons to continue hating myself.

-----------------
*****************
-----------------

    As Minako walked off into the setting sun, the crying woman wiped her
tears away and let the salty air singe the open gash in her heart. In the
shimmering ocean light, she seemed to collapse on herself and implode in a
brilliant flash of light. The woman was promptly replaced by a teary-eyed
Neo-Queen Serenity.
    "I'm sorry, Minako," she sadly whispered after the disappearing blonde,
"I never knew you hurt so much."
    The queen never missed much around her domain. For better or for worse,
she knew everything that went on. Everything, but Minako's innermost
thoughts were exclusive of everything. Serenity sobbed quietly, futilely;
for all her fabled strength and compassion, she failed her friend, her
guardian.
    And for the first time in a thousand years, the queen felt the crushing
agony of death and defeat. Time and time again, she bested her enemies.
Whichever direction they came, from wherever they hailed, she repelled
their efforts. Now, finally, after a thousand year winning-streak, an enemy
had reached out and claimed one of her own in both mind and soul.
    That enemy was none other than herself.
    And once again, a weight was placed onto Serenity's shoulders, but this
time, the weight was much heavier than the fate of the world.
    Such was the burden of a friend's pain.
    Sometimes it's hard to hold onto what you believe - no truer words were
ever spoken.  Usagi believed in Minako, held onto her, but Minako didn't
want her anymore.
    The queen sensed as much.
    And in a way, Usagi felt like a parent.  Minako had grown up, so had
her heart and mind.  She no longer implicitely trusted, but violently
questioned.  She no longer believed that the Senshi's means justified the
ends.  She no longer could stand by and watch others suffer while she was
overcame with joy.
    Minako had joined the rest of the world.
    Like a parent, Usagi could only do one thing: let go and hope.





**************
Author's Notes
**************

It's almost over - two, maybe three more chapters and an epilogue. I thank
you fans of this series. I thank you people who gave me inspiration. I
thank you all in general. I hope my writings live up to your standards.
Hopefully, my illness hasn't knocked the edge off of my writing. Till next
time...

-Don.