*Do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
*Do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
*Do you sleep anymore?

"I'm leaving, Haruka!" Michiru called out as she grabbed the keys from
the hall table.  "And I am taking your car!  It gets better mileage in
town!  I will be back this afternoon.  I love you!"  Michiru stood at 
the door for just a moment when Haruka's head popped out from the 
bedroom.  Haruka smiled, jogged over to Michiru and placed a gentle 
kiss on her lips.

"I love you, too.  Be careful."  Haruka watch Michiru smile and walk
out the door.  It had been three weeks since Haruka had slept with 
Usagi.  She and Usagi had tried to avoid speaking of it.  Since that 
night, though, things between Michiru and Haruka had gotten much 
better.  Michiru's mood was not as short and they were more loving 
toward each other.

Haruka just thanked her stars that no one knew.

And promised no one in particular that it would never happen again.

***

Michiru drove by the large mansion again.  She had walked out its
doors almost 3 years ago, she had embraced her destiny.  She was drawn 
back, though, with news from her mother that her father had fallen 
ill.  She had come back, walked through those doors, and was lost in a 
sea of familiar faces.  The staff welcomed her back in and were so 
happy to see their young charge once again.  Her mother pulled her 
into her father's study and sat in the same chair her father had.  Her 
mother was so small now, frail and fearful.

Her mother had gone over her father's will.  Michiru was not included
in that will.  Michiru had informed her mother that she had never 
thought she would be.  Keiko had chewed at her lip, then explained to 
Michiru that it wasn't too late.  How Ichiro still had not taken a 
wife, and it would still be a wonderful idea for her to marry him.  
After all, Michiru had been on her own for 3 years, she had her 
freedom and had her experiences, now it was time to settle down and 
start her family.

Michiru remember the look on her mother's face when she informed
Keiko, quietly but sternly, she would not be marrying Ichiro.  And 
why.  The words still stung.  Her mother had told her she had to 
leave, and she was not welcome back.  Just not in so few, kind words.  
Michiru looked at the house.  All she wanted was for them to love her 
and accept the fact she was with a wonderful person who loved her -- 
regardless of the gender of that love.

Michiru sped away.  It was their choice.  They cut her out, not the
other way around.  Right?

*Do you take plight on my tongue like lead?
*Do you fall gracefully into bed anymore?
*Do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
*Do you sleep, do you keep me anymore?

For a few weeks after, Michiru had been in and out of the house.  She
worried about her father's health and she was so hurt about the things
her mother had said to her.  She was short with Haruka, had hurt 
Haruka just so she would not hurt alone.  It had been cruel and 
unkind.  She had also not confided in her partner why she was so 
upset.  Haruka just had to roll with the punches.  A smile played 
across Michiru's lips as she drove toward Haruka's unused condo.  
Haruka had loved her anyway.  They had come through it loving each 
other more.

Michiru had come to her sense the night Haruka had never come home. 
She was afraid she had pushed Haruka too far.  But, just as dawn 
broke, Haruka had come home, slipping into the house quietly.  And she 
had come to bed with Michiru, not the guest room.  Michiru rolled over 
and kissed Haruka, whispering words of love and apologies.  They had 
made love that morning and all had been well.  She felt so loved and 
so lucky to have Haruka.

She parked outside the building and checked the key ring.  Haruka
always forgot to regularly pick up the mail, newspapers and air out 
the condo.  Michiru kept telling her to sublet the apartment, but 
Haruka felt more comfortable with having a place to run to.  So, 
Michiru allowed it to pass.  Michiru came to the condo once a month at 
this time to air it out, go through the mail and pick up the 
subscriptions Haruka had.  It was a pleasant thing she did.

Michiru mounted the stairs, enjoying the weather and making a mental
checklist of what she had to do after this visit.  Just as she was
turning the key in the door, the tenant across the way opened her door 
and stepped out, picking up her newspaper.  She waved at Michiru, 
Michiru waved back.  She was going to open the door when the woman 
skipped over to her, extending her hand.

"Good morning," she said and smiled.  "I'm Yoko, the tenant from over
the way.  I was wondering if Tenou-san had sublet the apartment.  I
suppose she did."

Michiru giggled a bit.  "Oh, no, I am just here to air out the condo
and pick up some things.  I'm Kaiou Michiru, Haruka's partner."

Yoko started a bit.  "Oh.  I had thought Tenou-san was with the little
blonde girl she brought by here a couple of weeks back.  I must have
been wrong."

"Blonde girl?"  Michiru's heart skipped a beat, her hearing became
somewhat muffled.  "A few weeks back?"

The woman nodded.  "Yes.  Strange hairstyle.  Two buns that had
ponytails extending from them.  They came by around 10, I had just 
come home with my date.  I'm sorry if I have upset or offended you."

Michiru shook her head slightly, managing a smile.  "No, not at all. 
I need to get going and finish up here.  It was a pleasure meeting 
you."

Michiru shut the door on the woman, trying to shut the mental door on
the words Yoko had just spoken to her.

She had been with Usagi that night.  Here.  Alone.

*You kick my foot under the table,
*I kick you back;
*I can't say I'm able to
*Stand for you or
*Fall for you ever again.
*Wish for a perfect setting?
*Wishing that I am letting you
*Take me where you want me
*All over again?
*You can't give yourself absolutely to someone else.

She entered the condo, dropped the keys, papers, and mail to the side
table and walked into the living area.  She opened up the windows, 
almost afraid to enter the bedroom.  Finally, the windows and the 
patio door open, she had no other choice.

The bed had been hastily made, there was a glass of water -- almost
empty -- beside the side Michiru had slept in when she spent the night 
with Haruka.  The bathroom.  Two towels, thrown quickly at the laundry 
basket.  The tears trickled down Michiru's cheeks.  Haruka had slept 
with Usagi, come home... and then slept with her.  This could not be 
happening.  Not to her.  Haruka wouldn't.  She just wouldn't.

Surveying the room, though, Michiru could not deny it.  Haruka had
been with Usagi.

Michiru fled from the room, slamming the windows and doors shut.  She
snatched up Haruka's keys and ran from the condo, stopping only to
lock the door on her way out.  She drove through the streets, the 
tears falling freely.  Her life, in one moment, had been altered.  It 
hurt her so much, much more than she had ever thought infidelity could 
hurt.  Then again, she had always taken Haruka's flirting with Usagi 
as a teasing, nothing serious.

It had obviously been very serious.

She pulled into the parking area outside her condo and composed
herself.  Lucky for Haruka most of her clothes were still at the other
apartment.  She brushed her hair out and wiped the tears from her 
face.  This was going to be the hardest thing she had ever done.  Even 
harder than leaving her parents behind.

She entered her apartment and was greeted by a cheerful Haruka. 
Haruka tried to kiss Michiru hello but Michiru turned from Haruka, 
looking down at the floor.

"What is it, Michiru?  Are you alright?  Is the car alright?"

Quietly, the rage boiling just below her skin, Michiru asked one
question.  "You were with her, weren't you?"

Silence.

Haruka walked into the living room and sat, placing her head in her
hands.  "Yes.  Once.  One night, and a mistake."

*I don't know, and I don't care
*If I ever will see you again.
*I don't know, and I don't care
*If I ever will be there.

Michiru's lip trembled.  It was like a physical blow.  It was one
thing to know it had happened, somehow it was another for Haruka to 
admit it.

Her voice betrayed her.  "You need to leave, Haruka."  Her voice broke
on the name.  She refused to raise her eyes, to see this woman at all. 
"I do not want to see you right now."

Haruka just stared at her for a moment, then let out a deep sigh. 
"Alright.  I'll be ready in 15 minutes."

Michiru walked out to the terrace outside her French doors and looked
out over the ocean.  Here she cried.  Silently.  Her heart broke into 
a million pieces and all she wanted was Haruka to put them back 
together.  But, she had her pride, just as Haruka had hers.  She heard 
Haruka's footsteps at the door, but Michiru would not turn around.

"I'm going now.  I love you, Michiru.  And, in all honesty, I am glad
you know about it."  Haruka took Michiru's hand, only being greeted 
with a stony back and strong shoulder.  "I will come back when you are 
ready."  She let Michiru's hand drop and she left the apartment.  As 
soon as Haruka was in the car, she rested her head on the steering 
wheel and cried.

She had really done it this time.  Would she ever get Michiru back?

***

When the door closed, Michiru sank to the patio floor and curled up
into a all.  Hugging herself and crying, she whispered, "I love you, 
too."

Sobbing in her corner, Michiru wondered if it would have been worth it
had she just remained her parents' puppet.  At least then all she felt 
was loneliness.  Now, not only was she lonely, but she was betrayed 
and dirty and heartbroken.

*I saw you as you walked across my room.
*You looked out the window, you looked at the moon.
*And you sat on the corner of my bed, and
*You smoked with the ghost in the back of my head.

Michiru did not sleep well that night.  She was no longer used to
sleeping alone.  Noises startled her and her chest hurt.  She had 
resisted the urge to call Haruka, to beg her for a reason.  She had 
also had to hold back the urge to go to Haruka's and beat her, make 
her feel how Michiru felt.

And then there were the homicidal thoughts she had been entertaining
of Usagi.  All innocence and fluff.  Michiru knew now that Usagi was 
not what she pretended to be.  She had the spirit of a spoilt brat, 
had to have everything no matter who it hurt.

Michiru would never forgive her.  Never.

***

Haruka sat up, wondering if Michiru was alright.  'Of course she
isn't, baka,' she told herself.

What had made her and Usagi meet that night?  What the hell had she
been thinking?  And why on earth had she thought Michiru would not 
find out?

Haruka opened herself another beer.  A strong stout, helping her to
numb out the thoughts.  She deserved what Michiru had done, she did 
not belong with such a faithful and wonderful woman.  What the hell 
had she done?!  She had screwed up something extremely precious and so 
rare...

She had used Usagi to do it with.  She finished the beer.

Haruka sat alone at 2 am.

And she opened another beer.

*I don't know, and I don't care
*If I ever will be there.

Michiru parked her car outside the apartment building, looking up at
the sunny sky.  She sighed, tired and weary.  She had come to this 
decision around 4 this morning.  She went up the stairs and knocked on 
the apartment door, chewing her lip slightly.

"Mamoru-san?" she asked when he opened the door.  "Are you alone?  We
must speak about Usagi-chan."

--- End Part Four ---