*So denied
*So I lied
*Are you the now or never kind?
*In a day
*And a day love
*I'm gonna be gone for good again
*Are you willing
*To be had
*Are you cool with just tonight?
*Here's a toast
*To all those who hear me all too well

Usagi sat at the kitchen bar in her home watching Makoto cook, 
while Rei and Minako fought over who got to help her.  Ami sat next to
her reading a book on the chemistry of foods.  The blond girl
surveyed the image in front of her and smiled.  Her loves, her
friends.  Such warmth filled her.  They had seen each other through so
much, and now it seemed it was coming to an end.  She knew they would
be together in the future, when they were needed.  But right now there
was no evil for them to fight, no enemy, just peace.  Chaos was
sealed.

Usagi had invited the Outer Senshi and the Starlights to her home the
night before they each went their separate ways.  The Starlights were
going home, and the Outers had decided to move to a new city and try
for as normal an existence as possible.  Ami was trying to get into a
nice college in Kyoto and, if accepted, would be leaving within a
month or two.  Rei was going on a sabbatical with her Grandfather for
6 months and would not be in touch with anyone during that time, and
Minako had her first photo shoot in two weeks in Osaka.  That left her
and Makoto holding down the home front.

Even Mamoru was going to America, and this time he planned on
making it.  He would be gone for that year and, of course, ChibiUsa
had returned to the future.  Usagi sighed.  All she had come to count
on was changing, and she didn't know if she could survive it.  She just
wanted to lock all her friends up in a box and carry them with her
always.  For the last 3 years she had believed that they would forever
be together.  For 3 years they had been so close, 14 people who would
have never come together if it wasn't for evil.  13 people who
had touched her life in such a deep and meaningful way.

And now they were all leaving her.

"Usagi-chan?"  Usagi looked to her side.  Ami was watching her
carefully.  "Are you alright?  You looked miles away."

Usagi smiled at her.   "No, Ami-chan, I'm right here, right now."

The four girls looked at Usagi, each with an expression of confusion. 
Usagi just laughed and poked Ami in the ribs, causing the girl to jump
and fall from her chair.  All of them laughed then and forgot Usagi's
sad expression from 2 minutes ago.  Usagi vowed to cherish the next 24
hours she had with all her friends, 24 short hours.

*Here's to the nights we felt alive
*Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
*Here's to goodbye
*Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

The doorbell rang at 7 that night.  Usagi had dressed up for the
occasion and checked herself one last time in the mirror.  Her hair
was up in its standard double buns and pigtails, she never changed
that.  She was wearing a nice light pink sundress that showed her back
off and stopped mid thigh.  She felt so free that she had wanted to
wear something playful and fun.  She took a deep breath and opened the
door with a big smile.

"Odango!" Haruka laughed.  "You look nice."  Haruka handed Usagi a
covered dish as Michiru gave her a hug.

"No, Haruka did not make it, Usagi-chan," Michiru said when Usagi
looked between the dish and Haruka.  "I did.  It's Dim-Sum I made.  We
just need to steam them when we're ready to eat."

Just as Usagi was about to close the door, Setsuna and Hotaru came
up the walk to the house.  "Usagi-san!" Hotaru cried out.  "Wait for
us!"  More hugs and another dish of food.  Usagi decided to just leave
the door open.

In the main room sat the Inner Senshi, hugs went around as the Inners
and Outers chatted with each other.  Makoto asked Michiru all about
the Dim-Sum and how to make them, Rei and Haruka discussed current
events, and Setsuna and Hotaru sat on the floor to join in a game of
Hanafuda with Ami and Minako.  Usagi just stood in the doorway
committing every face and action to memory.  ChibiUsa never mentioned
the Outers or the Starlights in the future, so perhaps she would never 
see them after tonight.  Usagi bit her bottom lip at that idea.  To never
see these people again.

"Odango?"  Haruka slid up next to Usagi, concern clouding her green
eyes.  "Odango, why do you look so pensive?"

"Haruka-san..." Usagi began, "will I see you or Michiru-san after tonight? 
Will we always be in touch?"  She looked up to Haruka.

Haruka smiled and poked Usagi in the belly.  "Of course.  Michiru,
Setsuna, Hotaru and I will always be here for you.  We are all
connected, Usagi.  We are family, and nothing -- not even time and
distance -- can change that.  Perk up and enjoy the time we all have
now.  Tomorrow will come, but for now, enjoy tonight."  Haruka brushed
her lips against Usagi's cheek and left to join Michiru in the
discussion of Chinese dishes.

Usagi sat contemplating Haruka's words while Hotaru cheered at her 
victory over the current game of Hanafuda.  She was about to go into the
kitchen to help with dinner when she felt strong arms surround her.  A
familiar scent of cool wind, warm earth and salty water surrounded
her.

*Put your name
*On the line
*Along with place and time
*Wanna stay
*Not to go
*I wanna ditch the logical
*Here's a toast
*To all those
*Who hear me all too well

"Mamo-chan."

She leaned into him and closed her eyes.  She wished that this house,
so full of love and life now, would not empty in a few hours and that
Mamoru's arms would never let her go.  She felt so useless and small
when her friends and lover were gone.  She felt like nothing without
them.  That was why she was almost defeated by Chaos.  All she had
lived for had been taken from her -- and two days later they were all
leaving again.

"Usako."  He kissed her cheek, right where Haruka had.  "I missed you. 
Is everyone here?"

Usagi shook her head.  "No, the princess and the Starlights aren't
here yet."

"Moonface, we're here.  You shouldn't leave your front door open. 
Anyone could walk in!" Seiya joked.

"Dinner everyone!" Makoto called.  Laughs and chatter.  A full home, a
full heart.  But Usagi felt the tug of sadness as she took her seat at
the head of the table with Haruka to her left and Mamoru to her right. 
From her position she looked up and down the table at all the happy
faces.  They had all earned their rest.

Makoto had outdone herself.  The Dim-Sum were served out, as were the
sushi and rice.  They had shark fin soup, salad, natto -- which Haruka
griped about as those who liked it ate it.  They had sake and juices,
water and tea.  It was a feast for the victors. 

*All my time is froze in motion
*Can't I stay an hour or two or more
*Don't let me let you go

Usagi sat back, barely eating, pushing her food aimlessly around her 
plate as she watched her friends.  They were laughing, joking, 
smiling.  Usagi wanted to scream, 'Don't you know what tomorrow is?  
Don't you realize this is the last time we will all be together like 
this?'  But she held her tongue, and all too soon, dinner was over and 
it was time for dessert.

The main dishes were cleared, and Usagi watched Makoto and Ami bring 
out the sweet desserts.  Mini cakes, ice cream truffles and cookies, 
everyone chattering and laughing, nibbling at each delicacy and 
sipping cool sake.  

Usagi didn't want the night to end.  She thought frantically for a way 
to keep everyone there for a while longer.  Long enough to tell them 
how she felt; long enough for them to know how much they would be 
missed.  In the three years that she'd known everyone present, it 
felt as if the years prior had been nothing more than a pleasent 
dream, and only now had she awakened into life.  She was afraid, 
though, that they might laugh at her if she tried to put any of those 
feelings into words.  

Then she remembered something she had seen in an American movie.  It 
was a way to fill an awkward moment with a few meaningful words.  She 
had thought that it was a very grown up thing to do, and she had 
wanted for some time to have to opportunity to "propose a toast" 
herself.

*Here's a toast
*To all those who hear me all too well
*Here's to the nights we felt alive
*Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
*Here's to goodbye
*Tomorrow's gonna come too soon

"I would like to propose a toast to us all.  Here's to the defeat of
Chaos and the chance for peace.  Here's to long lives and safe
journeys.  Here's to never growing apart.  Here's to the good that 
came out of the evil.  Here's to friendships and loves lasting as long 
as time, and here's to being alive!"  Usagi lifted her glass and then 
drank deeply.

"Here, here!" the group agreed.

Mamoru then stood and said, "I think we should each give a toast, just
something short, something for us all to go away with.  Here's to the
future and to Destiny; I thank her for bringing us all together."

Ami stood.  "Here's to learning the lessons the last 3 years have
taught us."

"Here's to distant stars, close dreams and future reunions.  May none 
of us ever lose the music in our hearts."  Seiya raised his glass and 
sat back down.

"Here's to success and happiness in love," Minako bubbled.

Yaten sat for a moment and then stood.  "Here's to newfound friends
and allies."

Rei stood as Yaten sat.  "Here's to the greatest future queen we could
ever hope for."

"Here's to family and time, for they are always on our side."  Setsuna 
smiled at Usagi.

Hotaru stood and thought for a moment.  "Here's to friends who could
not be here; I hope ChibiUsa is happy in the future."

"Here's to victory and honor."  Princess Kakyuu looked around the
group as she returned to her seat.

"Here's to," Taiki began, "cooperation and loyalty."

Makoto stood, looking very uncertain.  "Here's to old friends and new,
to sincerity and strength.  May we all find what we are looking for in
our lives."

Everyone was surprised as Makoto sat down again.  Usagi could no
longer hold back her tears.  She did *not* want anyone to go away, she
wanted all these beautiful people to stay just as they were and where
they were.  She wanted the impossible.

Michiru raised her glass.  "Here's to beauty and justice, may we find
both inside us as well as in our world."

The last one to toast was Haruka.  Usagi was looking at her plate as
Haruka stood.  Usagi never denied she had had an attraction to the
blonde but it was a crush and mostly just curiosity and the sheer
presence of the woman.  But this would be too much.  To have Haruka
complete the circle, to finish the mass goodbyes, it would crush her. 
Her tears fell.  She felt a finger under her chin, lifting her head 
up.

"Here's to tomorrow, may we all find strength in our tears."  Haruka
wiped at Usagi's cheeks and returned to her seat.

At that moment, looking among all the people she loved, Usagi realized
how selfish her wishes were.  She knew she could whisper the word
'Stay' and they all would.  But that would be clipping their wings. 
She now understood, because of the toasts and the tears she saw in
everyone's eyes, that this was no easier for them.  They didn't *want*
to go -- they just *had* to, they each had something they wanted to 
accomplish.

Yes, tomorrow would come too soon for them all, but it was
something they were all willing to face.  And they would face it
together.  She smiled and raise her cup again.

"Here's to tomorrow!"

--- End Part Eight ---