Bad Girl
by Orchyd Constyne

*Something's missing and I don't know why
*I always feel the need to hide my feelings from you
*Is it me or you that I'm afraid of
*I tell myself I'll show you what I'm made of
*Can't bring myself to let you go

Aino Minako sat at her desk reviewing the photos from the last shoot.
The girl was quite beautiful, but there would still need to be some
airbrushing.  She lit her cigarette and sat back in her large chair.
She surveyed the office, smiling as she exhaled the smoke searing her
lungs.  Thirteen years of work, this was what she had accomplished.
She owned her own modeling agency, filled with beautiful people,
setting fashion trends, and making her name even more known than it
was.

Minako had completed her exams while on her fourth photo shoot.  She
had half-heartedly gone to college and received her mediocre degree in
photography.  She had spent eight years as a model and an actress,
loving the spotlight and media.  She snubbed out her cigarette and
crammed the photos into her bag.

Bitterness boiled in Minako's chest, though.  She locked her office up
and headed for the bar in the building lobby.  Five-thirty in the
evening and most people were on their way home.  Not Minako.  She
always stopped in the bar for her wind down before going home.  Home
to her husband.  Home to her daughter.

Home to where the bitterness was rooted.

Minako had met Scott while on a photo shoot for Maxim.  Minako had
been their cover girl once.  He had been so sweet to her, so
exotic.  He was an American, with green eyes and sandy hair.  She
loved the attention he paid her, loved his personality and his looks.
They had a public whirlwind courtship, ending only three months later
with them getting married.  Scott treated her well, and encouraged her
in her career.  They were apart most of the time, each having
commitments all over the country.

It only took a year and a half before Minako started fooling around
with other men on sets and photo shoots.

The bartender smiled as Minako sat down.  Even before she had lit her
first cigarette he had her glass of plum wine on a napkin ready for
her.  She smiled at him, and took a sip of the wine.  The sweet liquid
spread its warmth through her belly, easing away the bitterness she
felt.  Through the smoky haze in front of her she remembered what
ended her modeling career.

She had had several affairs.  Most she was sure Scott knew about.  She
was twenty-three and high on life.  She had her fans, money and a
husband.  She had everything she wanted.  She and Scott had taken a
year off when she was twenty-four and worked through most of their
problems.  She found she loved him deeply and enjoyed his company.  He
forgave her for her affairs.

So, when he threw her a private birthday party for number twenty-
five, she was surprised and thrilled.  Until he explained to her what
he wanted.

A baby.

She couldn't think of a valid reason why she shouldn't, other than her
own vanity.  So, she had gotten pregnant.  Lost her modeling
contracts, no one called for a pregnant actress.  Minako slipped into
a depression during the pregnancy that deepened after she gave birth
to Ai.  By the time Ai was three months old, Minako was back down to
her original size, but no one wanted her.  She was a mother now.  She
couldn't be a sex symbol anymore.

Scott surprised her a few months later by helping her start the
modeling agency.  Minako threw herself into making it the biggest and
best as quickly as she could.  She also smoked more and began
drinking.  She was usually drunk by the time she left the bar around
seven in the evening.

Not to mention, she rarely left alone.

*Something's happened and I can't go back
*I fall apart every time you hand your heart out to me
*What happens now, I know I don't deserve you
*I wonder how I'm ever gonna hurt you
*Can't bring myself to let you go

She had never intended to marry someone when she was so young.  Hell,
Minako knew she had an eternity to find someone.  It was just that she
felt the need to marry, she had been the third out of the Inner Senshi
to marry.  Also the third to have a baby.  She had loved Scott, she
was sure she had.  She was also sure she still loved him.  He was
successful, same as she, but he loved their daughter, cared for her.
He also forgave Minako every and any sin she committed.

Six o'clock.  Staring around the bar with her alcohol hazy eyes,
Minako noticed a young businessman staring at her.  She smiled and
motioned with her head for him to join her.  As he sat down she
ordered a White Russian, her second drink of choice.

His name was Hokuten and he wanted to be a partner in the law firm
that was also located in the building.  He was younger than her, fresh
from University.  He sipped his drink, smiled at her and tried to work
his magic on the young blonde.  Minako always took great pleasure in
the dancing that occurred when someone tried to pick her up.  They
never seemed to realize that she had already picked *them* up.  She
also chuckled every time the men would glance at her finger, looking
for the wedding ring or tell-tale marking of one.

Minako never wore a wedding band.  Hadn't since the first photo shoot
when they told her it could ruin her image and skin.  No one ever knew
she was married.  Well, no one but her.  After a few more drinks, some
chit-chat, and a few seductive glances, Hokuten ushered the Senshi of
Love out of the bar and to a waiting taxi.

In the taxi, Minako allowed him to kiss her, to touch her, relishing
in being wanted with such abandon.  When they arrived at his apartment
he paid the driver and walked with her inside the building.  They
kissed and petted heavily in the hallways, Minako giggling drunkenly,
ignoring that nagging feeling she always got before sleeping with a
man.  She focused on the thrill of the moment.  She left behind the
wife, the mother, the woman she had grown to be.

In heart she knew she should have just let Scott go, divorced him.  He
could take Ai with him, Minako really hadn't wanted to be pregnant
anyway.  The child would be much more content with him than with her
drunk of a mom, she was sure of that.  They fumbled into the
apartment, not bothering with the lights.  He led her to the bed, and
she happily jumped on the bed, removing her work suit.  As soon as she
was down to her bra and panties she pulled him to her, stripping him
of his clothing.

They coupled quickly, him taking Minako from behind.  It was how she
insisted the men have sex with her.  She refused to look at them, to
allow them to intimacy of looking at her.  Scott had always said
Minako went with these men to make herself feel dirty, degraded, to
make her feelings of worthlessness mean something.  Minako always felt she
deserved less than Scott, a man who took her back no matter what.

She deserved a modeling career, a young body unmarred by motherhood,
eyes clear from booze, men wanting her...  As she moved in time with
her one-time lover, Aino Minako cried for her past sins and lost
youth.

*I don't want to cause you any pain
*But I love you just the same
*And you'll always be my baby
*In my heart I know we've come apart
*And I don't know where to start
*What can I do, I don't wanna feel blue

Minako stumbled into the front hallway of her home.  It was nothing
modest, she was extremely well off.  It was what she felt she
deserved, giving up her life for a husband and family.  It was
late... about three in the morning.  Scott should have been asleep by
now, and Minako prayed to a god she rarely thought about that he had
gone to be hours ago.

She put her purse down on the table by the phone and sighed.  A long
day, an even longer night.  She stepped out of her heels, leaving them
alongside the line of shoes nestled by the door.  Stretching slightly
she walked from the hall to the kitchen.  As she was pouring herself a
glass of wine Scott turned on the kitchen light.

"Mina.  You're home."

Minako scoffed, she hated how he called her Mina.  Had for years.
"Scott, I have asked you not to call me that.  My name is Minako.
Has been for a very long time."

"Where were you?"  He just stood there, his voice calm, his arms
lightly crossed over his chest.  Minako knew he knew where she had
been, but something inside her forced the same tired lie out of her
mouth.

"Working late at the office.  The summer shots came in today and I
had to go through which girls I wanted to present for inclusion in the
summer spread."  She sipped her wine, her eyes hooded, watching him.

"Why do we do this, Mina?  Why do you bother to come home at all?  We
have been married how long now?  And how many affairs have you had?"

Minako slammed her glass down on the marble counter surface, her eyes
aflame with all the hatred for herself, her life and her family.  "Why
do I bother to come home?  Because, Scott, this is *my* home, my
modeling career bought this place.  Why would I *not* come home?!
And, as for affairs, you could leave any time you like.  I have a life
separate of this, Scott, and I don't need you waiting up for me every
night I happen to work late."  She reached for her cigarettes,
lighting one quickly and walking out of the kitchen.

Scot followed her into the office, grabbing her arm.  "Mina, I have
loved you, forgiven you, loved you again.  Dammit, I deserve more than
this, more respect than what you have given me in the last seven years!
What the hell happened to us?"

She looked into his clear eyes, pleading with her to go back to who
she was so long ago.  "That was seven years ago, Scott.  Time changes 
people."  She sighed.  "I will not change."

"Not even for Ai?"

Her head snapped up at the mention of her infant daughter.  "Scott,
let me let you in on a secret: Ai?  She is part of the problem!  I did
not want to get pregnant!  Look at me!"  Minako gestured at her body,
larger hips, a slight belly and sagging breast.  "I was something,
Scott!  I was a coveted model!  I was once a *warrior* -- now I am
this saggy, baggy almost-30-year-old woman with a screaming child and a
husband who smothers me!  I work and work, I never go to the Court
anymore, I never see Serenity-sama or Endymion-sama.  I come home,
fight with you, listen to Ai scream for hours and then get up and go
to work again!"

Minako knew she wasn't making much sense any more, that she was drunk
and angry, but she needed to get all that hatred out of her, root up
the core of her pain.

*Bad girl drunk by six
*Kissing someone else's lips
*Smoked too many cigarettes today
*I'm not happy when I act this way

"This life is not what I wanted, Scott!  I wanted to be famous, to be
a model for as long as possible!  I hate this house, with its
cluttered rooms and dusty corners.  I hate my job, day in and day out
in a drab office, terribly decorated, looking at images of beautiful
women doing what I wish *I* was doing!  And I hate you, Scott.  Aging,
pudgy and a bore!"  Minako was furious, riled up and saying things she
had never thought would come from her mouth.

Scott, who had stood by silently for so many years, seethed.  His
anger showed in the red creeping up his neck.  "You should keep your
voice down, Mina.  Ai might wake up."  He spoke through gritted teeth,
trying hard to keep his cool.

"I said not to call me Mina!"  Minako slammed her hand down on the
table.

A long wail came from an upstairs, marking the awakening of Ai.
Minako let out a frustrated cry.  Scott glared at her and rushed up
the stairs to comfort the screaming child.  Minako watched, with
blurred vision, as he disappeared in the darkness.  She stomped into
the hallway and put her shoes back on.  Fighting her tears, she
grabbed her purse and slammed the door as she walked out on her
family.

---

Another cigarette.  Another drink.  Was dawn coming soon?  Minako was
no longer sure the time or day.  She had not been to work or home in a
while.  Or at least, what she felt was a while.  She found beds to
stay in at night, places to lose herself in during the day.  She
couldn't go home.  She never could go back.

Minako staggered into the liquor store, rummaging through her purse,
looking for that last 1000 Yen.  Minako chose the bottle she could
afford with the 1000 Yen, straightened her outfit, and walked up to
the counter.  She smiled a tired smile at the clerk, who just snorted
in the drunk's direction.  She took the money and waved Minako out of
the store.

Minako stumbled out into the street, her blurry vision causing the
lights of the city to blind her.  She gave a loud shout of disapproval
and wandered into the closest alley.  In the cold, dressed in a dirty
suit, Aino Minako sat and began drinking her bottle of booze.  She
drank because she hated what she had become, which was a boozer, so
she drank more.  Minako began to cry as she drank more.  She was cold
and tired and just wanted to redo everything in her life.

On a soft trash bag is where she fell asleep, the bottle almost empty. 
Days of drinking were taking their toll on Minako.  The alcohol had
permeated her blood, the toxic effects had already begun for her.  In
her poisoned sleep she vomited, her Senshi body's last effort to
cleanse itself of the foul liquid.

Her breathing had slowed so much her face had begun to take on a
bluish tint to it.  It was like this, blue in color and smelling of
alcohol and vomit, that her old friends found her.  Scott had called
them all and Serenity, in a fit of fear, begged them all to find
Minako.  It was Luna who had found the Senshi of Love, calling
everyone over.  Ami quickly turned Minako on her side, cleaning out
her mouth with a rag and calling for someone to call an ambulance.

Minako was oblivious to all that she had put her friends and family
through.  She was in a sweet sleep where she was young and beautiful,
not some married mother with no goal.

She was Aino Minako again, an idol, a star... alive and beautiful.

*Bad girl drunk by six
*Kissing some kind stranger's lips
*Smoked too many cigarettes today
*I'm not happy, I'm not happy
*This way

Her head was throbbing.  It was one of the worst hangovers she had
ever experienced.  Minako tried swallowing, but her throat was dry and
raw with pain.  She slowly opened her eyes and was greeted with the
low light of a hospital room.  She blinked once, twice and slowly
turned her head.  Sitting in the chair next to her was Serenity, her
arms lightly folded on her chest, her eyes wet with just shed tears.

"Serenity-sama..." she croaked out.

Serenity reached out and grabbed hold of Minako's hand. "Minako!"  She
rested her head against the bed, holding Minako's hand to her lips. 
Minako felt her own tears fall when hot wetness fell to her hand. 

"Serenity-sama, please don't cry," Minako sniffled. "No need to cry."

Serenity's head snapped up, her eyes wide.  "No reason?!  Minako, when
they finally found you, you were so sick...  Ami and the other doctors
didn't know if they could even *save* you.  Oh, Minako...  Why did you
do all this?  *Why*?"  Serenity squeezed her hand, her bright blue
eyes begging for an answer.

Minako looked away, focused on the large machine at her bedside.  It
took her a moment to realize she had been placed on a dialysis
machine, allowing her kidneys a rest from all the processing of the
alcohol.  She closed her eyes briefly and felt the tears come again. 
"I'm not really sure.  It was always easier to find the reasons to
drink when I was already on my way to being falling down drunk.  I
felt like a failure, Usagi-chan," she said, reverting back to the
high school days.  "I was a model, I had money and fans...  I was what
I had always wanted to be.  Then I got married.  Why, oh why did I do
that?!"  She looked to Serenity.  "I let myself get out of shape and
my whole life just... changed.  I was unhappy with Scott, I was
unhappy with Ai, I disliked my job and...  I just drank."

Serenity's eyes, so soft and full of pain for her friend, slowly
closed.  "I wish I had known, Minako.  I wish I could have been there
for you as you always were for me."

Minako turned her head toward Serenity, a smile soft on her lips. 
"Usagi-chan.  You have Crystal Tokyo, Endymion-sama, Mamoru, and
ChibiUsa to see to.  I did not want to bother you with my burdens. 
They were mine."  Minako sighed.  "I do not want to go home.  That was
why I did what I did.  I just did not want to go back to that
place..."

Minako trailed off as Artemis, in his human form, entered the room,
followed by Haruka.  Artemis, her companion through so many years,
rushed to her side, grabbing her free hand.  "Mina!"  He laid his head
on her chest, a sob running through his body. "Oh, Mina.  You should
have *come* to me!"  Serenity stood, smiled at the two friends and
looked to Haruka.  Haruka nodded and walked out of the room with the
Queen.

Minako sniffled.  "Artemis, why is Haruka-san here?"

Artemis took a breath and stroked Minako's face.  "She had to come.  
Your blood was so poisoned, we had to dilute it with something.  
Since Senshi blood *is* special, and Haruka is the only one of us that 
is the same, perfect blood type, she came in to donate for you."  
Artemis smiled softly.  "Mina, you should have come to me.  You should 
have *told* me."

"Artemis, I couldn't even tell myself."  Minako sighed, a deep and 
bone weary sigh.  "I plan on leaving Scott.  He is part of my 
problem.  I need to stay sober and I need a divorce."  Divorced.  
Minako could not believe she was going to be divorced.

Artemis nodded.  "Alright.  What about Ai?  Will you give her to 
Scott?  He will go back to the US.  You will not see often.  Do you 
want to keep your daughter?"

Minako looked deep in Artemis's eyes, thinking about Ai.  Did she want 
to keep her daughter?  Did she love Ai?

*I'm not happy this way
*This way
*I'm not happy this way
*Kissing some kind stranger's lips

"Aino Minako," said the judge, "Please stand.  You as well, Mr. 
Howard."  The judge watch Scott and Minako stand, each on separate 
sides of the courtroom.  "My personal opinion two years ago was that 
Ai Howard was probably better off with her father in the United 
States, away from her mother's destructive behavior.  Aino-san's 
lawyer, though, put forth a radical idea, one I was reluctant to 
allow.  Ai Howard would remain with her father, but Mr. Howard had to 
remain in Crystal Tokyo.  Over these last months, Aino-san, you have 
received counseling, have completed your divorce hearing, have 
returned to work, and have moved into a new residence."

The judge smiled at the woman.  "You have demonstrated to this court 
that you want your daughter, that her presence in your life is 
important.  So, it is the judgement of this court that you receive 
full custody of Ai Howard, effective Friday at 6:00 pm.  She will, 
though, be sent to her father for 3 months out of the year.  Those 
three months, though, are for you and her father to decide upon.  
Court is adjourned."

The judge exited the courtroom and Minako hugged her lawyer, crying.  
She then turned to Artemis, smiled at him, and squeezed his hand.

"I love her," she said to him as she exited the courtroom, ready to 
file papers to change Ai's last name to her own.  "I would die for 
her.  I'm sorry it took so long to figure it out..."

--- End Minako's Story Part One ---