Sailor Moon is copyright 1992 by Naoko Takeuchi.
North American Rights for Sailor Moon are owned by
D.I.C.

Rating:  PG-13


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  Life  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Part I - Recovery
Chapter X - Relief


	Sanctuary.

	It had been so long.

	Usagi realized that the last time she had done
this was the day she met Jiro.

	'He really has helped me.'

	She got there and she stood there.

	'They all have.'

	She looked out at the crowd.

	They were waiting.

	She looked over at her friends and thought,
'This is the first time that Zared, Noriko, and
Kiyoshi have seen this.'  She saw that they were
surprised at her being on stage.

	She saw Kai looking at her too.  He was
waiting, expectantly.  'He's gonna have a field day
with this one.'

	She unfolded the paper she had retrieved from
her bag.  She did so slowly.

	'Slowly.  I'm doing everything so slowly.
Maybe it's a subconscious I do for a more dramatic
effect.  It certainly is working.'

	She had not smiled once since she got up there.

	Some people were leaning forward in their
chairs.  Others were still relaxed, but it was
obvious that all attention in the room was focused on
her.

	She looked around the room once again.  Her
gaze sweeping from one side to the other.  It
reminded her of how a teacher would do it, making
sure she had everyone's attention.

	She licked her lips and stood up a little
straighter.

	She silently cleared her throat.

	She took a breath to steady herself.

	"Pieces"

	Was it her imagination or did more people sit
up once they realized she had started?

	She swallowed and looked at Kai.

	She was suddenly nervous.

	This was the deepest poem she had ever written.

	Could she share it with all these people?

	Could she share it without breaking down?

	'I'm not supposed to cry in front of people.'

	Someone in the room coughed, it was one of
those 'hurry-up' coughs.

	She could hear people shifting in their seats.
Some were getting anxious.

	Kai noticed her distress and just nodded,
urging her to go on.

	She licked her lips again.

	'Where's the chap stick when you need it?'

	And then she remembered.

	'People come here to let it all out.  They know
we're gonna feel their pain, but we're not nosy
enough to ask where it's from.'

	She swallowed once again.

	'It's okay.'

	She took a deep breath so that her chest
expanded and let it all out slowly.

	'I've done this millions of times.'

	She cleared her throat again, this time not
silently.

	'I can do this.'

	"Pieces

	My tears an endless river
	My sorrow an abyss
	My heart suddenly shattered
	Beneath your iron fist

	My sadness still expanding
	My eyes forever red
	My silent cries loud enough
	To wake the sleeping dead"

	Usagi swallowed and licked her lips.

	She remembered the way he had smiled and held
the girl, laughing and talking with her.

	"Your laugh the same as always
	Your eyes forever bright
	Your humor never fading
	Like mine that fateful night"

	She felt her voice break a little and paused to
regain her composure.

	She remembered how the girl had hung onto his
arm like a needy child.  More so, she remembered how
he has responded . . . positively.

	"Your words kindly ominous
	Your gaze already stray
	My whole confused and pained asked
	Why as you walked away"

	She pressed her lips together tightly and
squeezed her eyes shut.  She bowed her head.

	She made a sight.

	Surrounded by the light of a small spotlight,
her body shivered slightly with sadness.  Her blue
eyes opened to look at the crowd and shimmered with
tears.  Her blonde hair flowed around her, catching
the light as it shifted with her tiny trembles.

	One arm slightly lifted and held the
microphone's stand loosely.  As if she needed to hold
something.  For support.  For strength.  Her other
arm hung by her side, the piece of paper dangling
from her fingers.  She didn't need it anymore.  She
had memorized this next part.

	She remembered the kiss she had witnessed.
They reminded her of the ones he had shared with her.
Passionate.  Soul-searing.  Wonderful.

	Except, it wasn't her that he was kissing
anymore.

	She licked her lips and drew in a shaky breath.

	"My body trembling still
	My soul torn up in two
	My mind half-crazed with longing
	As my heart weeps for you"

	Usagi opened her mouth but was unable to
produce any sound.

	She tried again and managed to half whisper,
half croak, "Thank you."

	She swallowed again.  'I need water.'

	She stepped down from the stage, slightly
shaking.

	As she descended the stage, the room seemed to
erupt in applause.

	Perhaps it was the depth of the poem.

	Perhaps it was the way she read it.

	She didn't know.  What she did know what that
for the first time, she had reached out and touched
every person in the crowd with her own pain.

	Despite the sorrow she felt within, she felt
good knowing that.

	And she felt relief.  Ever since she had first
seen Mamoru and the girl, she had felt something
inside of her hurt.  It felt good to let it all out.
Mia's words echoed in her head briefly.  "My mama
said that not talking and keeping everything inside
makes it bad."

	When the crowd had calmed down and the band
resumed playing, Usagi found herself enveloped in
Kai's arms.

	"That was . . . unbelievable, Usa."

	Usagi smiled her thanks, and couldn't help
teasing.  "Hope it wasn't too depressing," she said,
knowing very well that it was the most depressing
piece she had ever written or sung.

	Kai rolled his eyes and released her, picking
up an order.  "Oh, not at all, Usa.  I felt like
dancing by the end," he responded sarcastically.

	Usagi giggled and Kai gave her shoulder a quick
squeeze.  "I'm always here," Kai reminded her softly.

	Usagi smiled, "I know."

	Kai nodded his head in the direction of the
counter and Usagi turned.

	She was greeted with the sight of 4 very
surprised men.

	She walked over and said, "Hey guys."

	They all responded, but were silent afterwards.
They were so shocked when they had heard the poem.
They were once again struck with the realization that
they didn't know Usagi very well.

	And they had so many questions to ask.  'Who
hurt you, Usa?  Is he why you're always so sad?  Is
he the one who pained you today when you walked in?
Have you always been so sad?  Did we just not notice
it?  Can we help?  Will you let us?'

	Usagi glanced at them again before focusing her
attention on the band.

	"Look, I know you guys saw me when I came in.
And I know you have a lot of questions.  But . . .
I'm not really ready to answer all of them.  I'm
still trying to figure things out on my own.  I know
you guys are worried, but . . ."  Usagi let her voice
trail off.  She didn't know what else she could add.

	After a moment of silence, Zared put his hand
over hers.  "We aren't going anywhere Usagi."  She
smiled up at him, giving his hand a squeeze.

	"You can tell us anything, any time," Noriko
said.  "And we'll accept that."  Usagi directed a
smile at him.

	"Just know that we care . . . that we're here
for you," Kiyoshi added.

	"I know," she responded softly.  She looked
over at Jiro.

	He seemed surprised at what his friends had
done, but realized that they were right.  Usagi had
to come to them in her own time.  On her own terms.
He realized it grudgingly and had that expression
when she looked towards him.

	Seeing the look on her face made him soften.
'She thinks I'm mad at her,' he thought.

	"Jiro, please -" Usage started.  'God, please
don't be mad at me.  I've already lost one important
man in my life.'

	"Come here, Usagi," Jiro interrupted, gently
taking a fistful of hair and using it to pull her
into a hug.

	Usagi smiled and simply said, "Thanks," into
Jiro's chest.

	Jiro pulled back and looked her in the eye.
"You can't get rid of us that easily.  I think we'll
be sticking around for a little bit."

	Usagi couldn't help saying, "Oh, joy."

	The men grinned, happy to have 'their' Usagi
back.

	Usagi only smiled contentedly.  But inside was
so much turmoil.  It hurt to see him with someone
else.  To see him _that_ close to someone else.  It
physically hurt her.  She couldn't breathe when she
saw them.  She felt a knot inside.  She wondered if
it would ever go away.

	Would it ever even loosen, just a little, to
give her some peace?


~ ~ ~  End  ~ ~ ~


Author's Notes:

	I don't really have any.  But I do have a couple shout-outs.

	To Patch: sorry I didn't email u back.  I just
wanted to say thanx for the e-mail u sent.  I'm glad
u like the story and yes, it will be VERY looong,
because, being the dork I am, I've decided to just
make this whole thing a series.

	To Ausaziko: I wanted to say thanx for ur email
just because it was really encouraging for me.

	To MMCLMK: well, I didn't email u back.  So,
I'm thanking u here like ya wanted.  =)

	Aight peeps.  I'm outta here.  Thanx for
reading and come back next week.  PLZ!

	Any and all email welcome!

	Adios!

HoNeY
hnymustd@hotmail.com
4/14/00