-------------------------------------------- Electricity Eye to Eye Hey don't I know you I can't speak Stripped my senses On the spot I've never been defenseless I can't even make sense of this You speak and I don't hear a word What would happen if we kissed Would your tongue slip past my lips Would you run away Would you stay Or would I melt into you Mouth to mouth Lust to lust Spontaneously combust The room is spinning Out of control Act like you didn't notice Brushed my hand Forbidden fruit Ring on my finger You're such a moral moral man Would you throw it away No question Will I pretend I'm innocent I struggle with myself again Quickly the walls come crumbling Don't know if I can turn away ~What Would Happen Meredith Brooks -------------------------------------------- Altered State, book one "Tonight, Tonight" by Mercury Blue and Fire Goddess Raye -------------------------------------------- Part One- The First Month Chapter Three- Sweet Surrender My, my. Quite a predicament we have ourselves in, wouldn't you say? Amy has just betrayed one of her best friends; she's kissed the boyfriend of the Moon Princess. That must surely be some sort of crime. But then, is Darien even her boyfriend anymore? He seems to resent her somewhat. A definite change from the days he worshipped the ground she walked upon. So if he's no longer Serena's betrothed, there is nothing wrong with their actions, is there? Or should Amy have stopped, to think about what Serena would have thought of the situation? Who's at fault? Ah, well. I'm not here to judge right or wrong. And I can't blame them when it's my fault they're behaving this way. Had I not shown them what would happen in the future, all would have be fine. The delicate web of time would not have separated so. As for Raye, where does she now stand? She claims to have given her blessing for Lita and Chad's relationship, but is that really so? Can it be that in only a day, she has put aside all feelings for Chad? Or is it merely a brave front she is putting on? I suppose I should continue, so we may find out the answers to these questions. -------------------------------------------- The event of only minutes past ran through Amy's mind as she drove to the shrine. She had kissed him. Darien. The Earth prince, and Serena's only love. "What have a done?" she asked herself, tapping herself on the forehead in annoyance. "Stupid, stupid." She'd been blaming herself since she'd left him five minutes earlier, and it didn't seem as though she would stop any time soon. All she could think of was how it felt to have his arms around her, his lips against her own. Those lips, so firm... She mentally slapped herself. This was Darien! A comrade in battle, a close friend, and nothing more. There wasn't anything else to it. A brief memory from years ago struck her, and she sighed. It was true, she'd had feelings for him once. When she'd first met him, while he'd mercilessly teased Serena, she'd found him handsome and mysterious, but that had been the extent of it. The crush had died after she met Raye and had disappeared completely when she'd learned of his past with Serena. There was no way she could- Oh, but those lips. The man could kiss, there was no disputing that fact. And the way he had held her... she had never felt so secure in her life. Not even with Greg. Greg. Shit. Not only had Darien and she betrayed Serena, they'd betrayed Greg as well. Greg, with his naivete and those psychic visions of his. Bet he hadn't seen this coming. But she felt bad. He had always shown such kindness to her, and now look what she had done. She'd thrown his love away for a kiss which had felt dirty. Wrong. And yet, so *good*. So she had liked it. So it had felt *so* right. So what? She wasn't planning on doing it again, not for anything. ~"I'd like to see you again. Will you come over tomorrow?"~ The last words he'd spoken to her rang through her mind clear as though he was still whispering next to her ear. God, she wanted to. It was clear she felt an attraction for him- more so than she'd ever felt for Greg. But she knew it was wrong. Darien wasn't hers to love, it was that simple. ~"Will you come over tomorrow?"~ Of course she wouldn't! Because that was the sensible thing to do. That was her role as a loyal friend and as a guardian of the Moon princess. Right? And she was sensible, loyal, logical Amy. There was no way she would even consider... ~"Will you come over tomorrow?~ ...Amy sighed resolutely. Yes. She *would* go over tomorrow. She had to speak to him about what had happened. It was the only way she could think of to clear her conscience. * * * "Amy, please, you've got to stay another night." Raye was on her the moment she stepped through the shrine doors. "Why?" She asked. "Oh, I just thought it'd be fun," Raye lied. "I mean, I've already invited Mina and Jeff... and Lita and Chad are going to be there..." "What are you talking about?" Amy asked. She removed her jacket and hung it in the closet. Raye sighed. "Oh man, Amy, I've made a mistake." She threw her back against the wall and crossed her arms. "I tried to be over him... I really did... I went all morning without even thinking about him..." She walked into the kitchen and sat at the table as Amy followed her. "Then I went to pick up Mina, and she started... asking me how I was. I told her I was fine- I really was- but she didn't believe me. Then I remembered Lita and Chad inviting me to watch movies with them tonight, and I couldn't help it. I had to prove her wrong, I-" She was beginning to rant now, and Amy waved her to silence. "What you're saying," she interpreted, "is you invited Mina, and Jeff over to watch movies tonight, with your *favorite* couple,". Raye nodded. "So now, you're stuck, with them, alone, all night, watching more- than-likely sappy movies, with two couples, as they make out. Am I right?" Raye nodded again, and Amy laughed, a low, throaty chuckle very unlike her. "And I thought I had problems," she muttered, tilting her head back as she reclined in her chair. "Please, Ames. Just stick around one more night. I don't... I don't want to be the... only pathetic loner there tonight." Amy jerked her head up and looked at her. "Excuse me?" Raye smiled, "Well, you know what I mean. Please?". She pouted like a child. As she looked at Raye, Amy remembered her conversation with Darien. ~"Will you come over tomorrow?"~ "Okay, okay, I'll stay. I've got something I need to do in the morning, anyway." * * * They'd arrived on time, all of them, much to Raye's hidden disdain. She'd been secretly hoping Mina would cancel. But she'd arrived first, with Jeff on her arm, looking cute as always. Lita had arrived next, giggling and grinning, carrying several movies under her arm. She passed them around to the others. "I brought 'Shall we Dance?', 'Ran', and," she wrinkled her nose in Chad's direction, "'Weatherwoman'-- Chad's choice." Amy tilted her head. "'Weatherwoman?'" she asked. "Isn't that the movie about that martial-artist, telekinetic weather woman who's always flipping her skirt up and showing her panties?" Chad grinned, and Jeff added, "Among other things...". "I- I don't wanna know,". Mina threw herself on a nearby loveseat and gestured towards the television. "Just plug it in," she sighed. Jeff smiled, and snuggled up next to her, wrapping his arm around her. Raye cast her an envious glance, glad she wasn't able to see it, and curled up in an old arm chair. She knew it would be a long evening. * * * A soft blue light emanating from the TV blanketed the six figures in the living room. Chad glanced around the room, sleepy from the hours of movie- watching. Raye was still seated in the old worn armchair, twirling her hair between her fingers as she watched the actions on the screen blink before her eyes. On the floor beside her, Amy lay, asleep, and snoring softy. Mina and Jeff sat, still entangled on the love seat. Chad sighed. His gaze eventually drifted to his thigh, where Lita rested her hand. Firmly; possessively. He felt a sight shudder go up his spine. Chad couldn't explain the feeling; it was neither disgust or attraction. It was more like the feelings of a prison convict- he felt as if he were in a cage surrounded by doubts and fears and he couldn't get out. It wasn't that he didn't like Lita. She was a perfectly wonderful, attractive girl, and he was more than amazed that she had chosen him, but... the feelings simply weren't there. He didn't get the butterflies in his stomach that he got when it was the real thing. With a sigh of frustration he rested his head on the back of the couch and cast a long look at Raye. Those butterflies. There they were. When he looked at Raye he had the strangest feeling in his chest, as if someone were taking a bicycle pump and was filling it with air. His heart raced. His breathing grew shallow. He *should* be getting that feeling when he looked at Lita... But he didn't. He couldn't deny that. Suddenly, Raye stood up. "I'm going to the kitchen to get something to eat," she announced. "Does anyone want anything?" There was a unanimous mumble, and a half-muffled grunt from Amy. Raye rolled her eyes and proceeded to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, she stared into it, intently. Chad entered the room quietly and stood behind her. "Do you need any help?" he asked softly. Raye didn't even look up. "Sure." She pulled out various condiments from the fridge, tossing them with haste onto the counter behind her. Once she was satisfied she had enough, she proceeded to make sandwiches for everyone. Chad grabbed the bread and began to spread mayonnaise on the slices. There was silence between them. Finally, Raye turned to face him. "Can you pass me that tomato over there?" she asked, pointing to it with a mustard covered knife. A few drops fell onto his sleeve, and her eyes widened. "Oh, Chad, I'm so sorry," she apologized, swiping at it with a paper towel. "I just... I-" "Okay," Chad said quietly, examining the spot on his favorite shirt. "Now it's on." "Huh?" she tilted her head, puzzled at his comment. "What do you-" Her words were cut off as a slice of buttered bread was pressed into her face. * * * ~No... can't... Oh god, I'm so sorry, Serena... so... warm... yes... Darien... kiss me again... oh, please don't... It's wrong... no... don't stop...~ Amy's eyes flickered open as the dream faded, tossed to the wind like a handful of seeds. She'd been dreaming of him. Darien. Of the wrongs they'd committed that afternoon and that blissful way he'd held her. He was strong, much stronger than Greg, and that strength emnated from his embrace, firm and unyielding. She wanted to feel that embrace again... she couldn't help herself. She knew it was weak- and she hated herself for it. It took awhile, but she gradually became aware of her settings: Lita on the floor, her arm stretched along the edge. Mina and Jeff, snuggled up, in their own little world. Chad... and Raye... where were they? Mina, noticing Amy had awaken, untangled herself quickly, and walked over to where she sat up, rubbing her eyes and looking around. "Have a good nap?" she laughed, sitting down cross-legged next to her. Amy nodded groggily, and glanced at her watch. "How long have I been out?" she yawned. "About two hours. You missed 'Ran'." She smiled sweetly, then grew serious as she changed the subject. "So, did you... talk to him?" Her eyes were wide and pleading. "Talk to who?" Lita jumped in the conversation. "You don't mean- oh, no, Mina." She sighed. "You didn't send her over to talk to Darien, did you?" With a roll of her eyes, she glanced at Amy. "She's done that to all of us, you know. Me, Raye, Artemis, Luna, the whole ball of wax. We've gotten the same reaction every time. He doesn't want to go back- there's nothing we can do." Mina crossed her arms (an awkward task considering one was in a cast) defiantly. "There *is* Lita. We've just got to find a way." She turned to Amy. "Did you? Talk to him, I mean." Amy nodded, backed into a corner. "I did. I- It was like Lita said it would be. He's not going back to her." She lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry, Mina. I tried." Mina sat back on her heels. "So this is it, then," she sighed. Her voice dropped, so Jeff couldn't hear. "There's not going to be a Crystal Tokyo. Rini... Rini will never be born." "We can't judge that for certain," Lita offered, trying to cheer her up. "We never know what the future will hold. But if Darien's going to go back to Serena, he's going to do that on his own. We can't force him." "That's right," Amy said quietly. "It's... up to him." There was a loud crashing all of a sudden, which jolted the three girls out of their conversation. After a moment, laughing and yelling emanated from the kitchen. Lita raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "I'm going in there to see if they need any help," she said standing up. "Uh... No its okay. I'll go and help. You stay here and watch the movie." Amy placed a hand on Lita's shoulder and lightly pushed her back into her seat. She couldn't be sure what was happening, but if Raye and Chad were having a reconciliation, they didn't need to be interrupted by Lita, of all people. Amy entered the room silently, stopping in surprise as she noticed the pair was covered in food. They'd evidently been involved in some sort of a food fight, judging from the mess around them. "What are you guys doing?!" "Uhh... Making sandwiches." Chad finally said. Raye nodded in agreement, as the two of them tried to stifle their childlike giggles. Amy couldn't help but smile at them. They were covered in food from head to toe. She looked back into the living room quickly; Lita sat waiting for Chad impatiently. "We should clean up." Raye said, with a smile. "That sounds like a good idea. You two go and clean yourselves up and I'll start on the kitchen." Amy said. She was glad they were friends again. Chad gave Raye a playful nudge as they walked down the hall to the bathroom. It was a tight squeeze, but somehow, they both managed to fit in the small little room. Chad stared at Raye with a smile on his face. It was clear that he was the winner of their food fight- Raye could barely be seen beneath the gunk that covered her. Still smiling, he unbuttoned his shirt, unaware of Raye's eyes on him. She couldn't help looking at his well defined abdominals; the way they lay stacked upon each other in a fine rippley mass. His chest was covered in a sparse hair. Not too much, but enough to give him the slightly rumpled look of a teddy bear. Raye found it incredibly sexy... She shook her head suddenly and tried to focus on something else. ~I can't do this.~ she thought. ~I'm only confusing myself.~ "I have no idea how you could get food here." Chad said, interrupting her reverie as he showed Raye his back. It was true. He had peanut butter and flour covering his torso. Raye ran a hand through her hair and held out a handful of pie, mustard and flour. "Somehow, I don't feel sorry for you,". She laughed and threw her handful of gunk into the nearby trash bin. Chad picked up a washcloth and held it momentarily, feeling the wet heaviness of it in his hand. "Come here," he said. She faced him, and he began to wipe away the meringue on her forehead, tracing a line of water with his thumb as it headed to her eye. "Sorry," he said softly. "I didn't think I got you that bad." He remained focused on his job as he cleaned her up. His fingers trailed gently down her neck. Raye slowly lifted her head so their eyes met. "Well I think I put up a good defence." She proceeded to dust the flour off his shoulders and his shirt, which hung open. Chad closed his eyes, and inhaled. She slid her hands around his waist, and kissed him. Slowly. The butterflies. Chad's heart beat faster. ~Is this a dream?~ Chad thought ~If it is I never want to wake up.~ This was it. He was finally kissing Raye, the girl he loved above all else. After fantasizing about this moment millions of times before, it was finally *happening*. And it was better than he ever could have imagined it. He knew that even in the years to come he would remember every detail. The softness of her lips; her little flowers of hands on his waist; the smell of her hair, so much like almonds. It felt as if time had stopped completely. It was perfect. *She* was perfect. Everything was- "Chad. What's taking you so long?" It was Lita knocking on the door. They jumped apart from each other, as if each had been burnt by the other. Chad and Raye stared at each other, both torn between the desire to forget the outside world and the knowledge that there was no escaping it. "Perfect," Chad muttered. He took a step back. "We can't....." "Why... oh shit." Raye's voice trembled with desparation. I am *so* sorry. That was wrong. Please, don't hate me." "No, no it's not you..." Chad grabbed her hand. His voice lowered. "It's standing outside the door." Raye nodded. She was shaking. "You know we can't do this again. Ever." She backed into the door. "What if-" Chad began. "Never. Even if she and you broke up, it would just be wrong." Was she trying to convince him? Or herself? "But..." "Hey, you guys." Lita interrupted. She knocked on the door again. "You're missing the movie." "Chad," Raye whispered. "This didn't happen." Her eyes were filled with tears- he just noticed it. Oh, gods. She drew in a shaky breath, then turned and walked out of the bathroom, brushing Lita as she passed without a sound. Lita stared at Chad. "What's her problem?" she asked, curious. She could tell Raye had been upset. "Uh..." Chad stammered, "Nothing." He sighed. "Nothing at all..." -------------------------------------------- The End, Chapter Three AN: Standard disclaimer applies. This is NOT a songfic. This story is dedicated to all the authors out there that have taken a chance and refused to be bound by the traditional rules. It's for those writers who've crashed through barriers and put out fanfiction that is just a little bit different. For all of you, I offer this humble piece of work. I hope one day, I'll be more like you. It's also for Moon Senshi, our fabulous editor. Thanks for your help, girl! The end result was well worth the time it took you to finish.