“Hidden Scars***IMPORTANT – PLEASE READ*** This is a story that may not be 

suitable for more sensitive readers and is rated PG13. It deals with issues that 

while not sexual in nature, may be upsetting to some readers and caution is 

advised. Please see the author’s notes at the end of the story. 

A huge thank you to the very talented Masked Maiden for her suggestions about 

the prologue. Your support has made this story easier for me. I send my 

heartfelt thanks.

Standard disclaimer: I do not do not own Sailor Moon or any of the attendant 

characters, nor do I profit monetarily from the use of them here. 

 

***********************

 

"Moonfall" 

By Meara

~Chapter One~

 

The weather phenomenon known as "La Nina" had brought a summer of severe 

thunderstorms to Tokyo. For the better part of two weeks, the hot and humid days 

had produced monstrous storms that pounded the city every evening. This night 

was no different. Rain fell in blinding sheets, whipped by sudden high velocity 

winds. Lightening discharged in rapid fire, one after another. Thunder rumbled 

so pervasively that it seemed endless.

A young woman ran through the stormy and almost deserted streets. Nature echoed 

the turmoil in her mind, pushing her onward. A gust of wind pulled her hood back 

revealing the long, blonde hair that was caught up in two long ponytails that 

had buns at the top. 

Tsukino Usagi screamed aloud as another bolt of lightening exploded overhead. 

Closing her eyes she darted through the crosswalk against the traffic light and 

into the path of the on coming car. The glare of headlights cut through her 

closed lids and her eyes popped open. As the driver leaned on the horn and 

slammed on the brakes in a futile effort to stop, a strange thing happened. The 

young woman framed in the halogen lights didn’t attempt to move out of the way. 

She simply watched as the vehicle bore down on her.

Michiru had finished making the apple and spice tea that Usagi enjoyed so much. 

She was moving by the large sliding window that led to the apartments small 

balcony. It was her intent to place the tray with its delicate porcelain teapot 

and cups on the living room’s coffee table when she heard the telltale shriek of 

brakes. The tray crashed to the floor as she saw the danger Usagi was in. 

"Usagi, no!" Michiru screamed as she watched Usagi stand frozen in the road. 

Haruka came running into the living room just in time to see the Moon Princess 

struck by the car. The girl rolled up the hood and over the windshield to land 

with a wet thud on the unforgiving asphalt.

Across the city, Chiba Mamoru suddenly dropped the textbook he’d been studying 

and grabbed his head. Images and feelings flashed through his mind. There was 

the harsh glare of headlights mingled with fear and sharp panic. An odd 

sensation (relief?) flowed over him before the sudden jolt of pain. The link 

broke as he shouted Usagi’s name. The air shimmered around him, and Tuxedo Kamen 

rushed into the night, desperate to find his beloved.

The rain had just about stopped. The soft drizzle was casting rainbows in the 

street lamps as they had finished loading Usagi in the ambulance. Mamoru, still 

Tuxedo Kamen, arrived just in time to see the ambulance race off into the 

darkness with sirens blaring. Mamoru let his transformation fade away and rushed 

to where Michiru and Haruka stood. 

 

Before he could even ask, Haruka shouted to him. "She’s alive. They’re taking 

her to St. Mary’s." She thrust a cell phone at Mamoru as she turned to run and 

get her car. "Call everyone and tell them to meet us there!"

Mamoru fumbled the telephone open and began to call Ami. As he punched in the 

numbers, his vision wandered to Michiru, who looked like she was in shock. "She 

just stood there and let it happen." The pastel haired senshi of Neptune 

whispered. "She just stood there."

 

********************

 

"For Tsukino Usagi?"  Called the doctor.

Mamoru lurched to his feet. "I’m Chiba Mamoru. How is she?"

The young, overworked intern looked haggard as he glanced at the chart in front 

of him. "Are you related?" He asked, then grunted in approval at Mamoru’s reply 

of "fiancé". "I understand her family isn’t in the country right now?"

Mamoru barely contained his impatience at the questions. "Yes, Usagi’s father is 

in America on a business trip. Her mother and brother are with him. Now, please 

Doctor, how is she?"

"Ms. Tsukino is a very lucky young lady." Replied the doctor as he rubbed his 

eyes. "A concussion, three fractured ribs and a lot of bruises, but nothing life 

threatening. I’d like to keep her here for observation, but if no complications 

arise, she can go home in a couple of days." The relief on Mamoru’s face must 

have been obvious. The young doctor smiled for the first time all night. "And 

yes, you can see her in a few minutes. She’s being transferred up to a room 

right now."

Mamoru was enthusiastically pumping the doctors hand in thanks as Rei, Ami, Mina 

and Makoto thundered into the waiting area. The young intern beat a hasty 

retreat as they all began to pepper Mamoru with questions at the same time.

Mamoru raised his hands to plead for silence. "There was an accident, but 

Usagi’s going to be just fine."

Normally soft spoken, Michiru’s voice grabbed everyone’s attention. "No, she 

isn’t."

"Michiru!" hissed Haruka as she grabbed her lifemate’s arm.

The Senshi of Neptune sadly shook her head as she reached for Haruka’s hand. 

"They have to be told now, Haruka. Don’t you understand – Usagi just stood there 

and let it happen! Don’t you know what that means? This has gone way beyond what 

we can do for her alone."

"We promised to protect her." Replied Haruka.

There was stunned silence that was finally broken by Mamoru’s low growl, 

"Protect her from what?"

There was resignation in Michiru’s voice as she turned to face him, "From all of 

you."

			********************







"Usagi came to us about eight months ago at Luna’s insistence." Michiru began.  

They had found an unused conference room to afford them all a little privacy.  

"She was having trouble coping with nightmares.  It seemed simple enough at 

first."



"Why didn’t she come to me?"  Asked Rei, hurt and angry, "I could have shown 

Usagi some meditations that would help that sort of thing."



"Maybe because she didn’t want to be called a coward or a weakling, Rei." 

Replied Haruka.  There was a hard edge to her voice.  "And let’s not get into 

why you seem to take such pleasure in berating the Princess when she doesn’t 

meet your standards."



Rei’s temper flared.  "Just what is that supposed to mean?" 



"Calm down, Rei." piped up Ami. "You and Haruka can fight later."



Michiru gave the petite senshi of Mercury a grateful look.  "Over time, the 

dreams escalated and grew more vivid.  Usagi began to have waking flashbacks to 

something that haunts her.  Something that she refuses to tell anyone but Luna.  

Usagi would curl up into a small ball on one end of the sofa and rock herself 

back and forth for hours."



"Luna, Michiru, me, Setsuna - we all tried to help as best we could." Said 

Haruka in support.  "I thought she was getting handle on whatever upsets her so 

much.  For the last few weeks, Usagi told us she was beginning to sleep through 

the night once again."



Mina looked horrified at what she was hearing.  "Why didn’t Usagi say anything? 

I mean we all noticed that she seemed a little distant, a little preoccupied, 

but I never guessed…"



"I thought it was the same stress we’re all going through.  Waiting to hear from 

the University about classes, trying to figure out how to afford them."  Mako 

gave a short bitter laugh.  "You know, the usual hell that encompasses the 

summer after graduate from High School."



Rei seemed lost as she listened to what was being said.  "Usagi…" she whispered, 

"why didn’t you tell us?"



"Yesterday, when she was with us, one of those damned thunderstorms started and 

it caused Usagi to have a flashback so vivid it left her locked inside herself 

for almost a half an hour.  We tried everything, but she couldn’t hear us."  

Said Haruka.



Michiru continued when her lifemate paused.  "We even transformed and linked our 

powers, but there was still no response.  That’s when Haruka and I began to 

suspect what we were really dealing with."



Ami’s active mind came up with a possibility that made sense to her.  "You think 

it’s Post Traumatic Stress, don’t you?  If it is PTS, are the thunderstorms the 

trigger for these episodes?  What could have caused this?" She spoke more to 

herself than the others.



Mamoru had sat very quietly, listening to all that was said.  He cradled his 

face in his hands.  "I never knew, I swear I never knew." He raised his eyes to 

look at the elder Senshi.  "Why didn’t she tell me about this?"



"Don’t you get it?  Are you all totally blind? "  Growled Haruka.  Although 

they’d gotten off to a rocky start, the Senshi of Uranus had become very 

attached to her Princess over the years.  She saw the potential for greatness in 

Usagi and felt it both her duty and her privilege to protect her.  She, Michiru 

and Setsuna were senior in age and experience to the Inners who called 

themselves her guardians.  But Haruka had been unable to help Usagi and this 

hurt her deeply. "Because you and the others are the source of it."



Michiru spoke as sharply as they’d ever heard her.  "That’s enough, Haruka.  

Blaming them won’t help Usagi.  There’s no way they could have foreseen this.

 

Makoto threw up her hands.  "Will somebody please back up and explain what’s 

going on?!  What’s this PTS stuff anyway?"



"Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome" explained Ami, "shows up in a variety of ways.  

After a traumatic incident the victim can have incredibly vivid dreams or 

flashbacks to the event.  It can also cause depression, anxiety attacks and host 

of other problems."  Fear lingered in her eyes as she added; "It’s even been 

known to drive people to suicide."



All the color drained out of Mamoru’s face.  He looked at Michiru as he repeated 

her words.  "You said ‘She just stood there and let it happen’.  When I realized 

that Usagi was in trouble I could see the headlights and feel her fear. But 

there was also a burst of relief from her that I didn’t understand then."  His 

heart broke as he put it all together.  "Oh my God, she wanted to die! Are you 

trying to say that Usagi is suicidal?"



"Not actively, I think.  But that fact that Usagi didn’t even attempt to save 

herself…" Replied Michiru.  Haruka came up behind he and put a hand on her 

lifemate’s shoulders.  "She needs more help than Haruka and I can give her."



"I’ll do whatever it takes." said Mamoru grimly.  Rei came to him and took his 

hand as he added, "All of us, whatever it takes to help."





			********************





It was starting again.



She watched and felt their agony as they suffered and died once more.  Usagi 

seemed frozen in place, unable to help them as they were torn apart. She tried 

to transform, but couldn’t move or speak.  An unseen enemy whispered in her mind 

as those she loved best were tortured.  The sound of that voice made her brain 

run in circles like a laboratory mouse trapped in a wheel.



"I’m coming for them Usagi, and you can’t stop me.  It’s only a matter of time 

before this happens.  Never relax your guard for even a second, because I’m 

waiting.  You will feel this pain forever and ever."



It was the last night of the Silver Millenium.  It was the final battle with 

Beryl and Metallia.  Galaxia patiently waited her turn to kill them all.  One by 

one, the Senshi fell, screaming their agony.  Mamoru’s turn came and he died in 

torment, always looking at her as if begging her to stop the pain.  They died 

and they died and they died and she felt every moment of it endlessly.



An invisible hand reached into her soul and crushed it with a cold fire that 

left Usagi unable to breathe or think past the agony that engulfed her.  It 

would always be this way.  Eternal, endless loss would be the only thing left in 

Usagi’s life as the long years stretched out before her.  



The opportunity for salvation came with the flash of headlights. She ran into 

their path and shouted the desperate thought that ran circles in her mind.



"No more pain!  No more pain! No more pain!"



Usagi awoke with tears on her face, repeating with a drug-slurred voice, "No 

more pain."



The room around her came slowly into focus and Usagi realized that she wasn’t 

alone.  Mamoru was hovering over her, trying to find a way to hold Usagi in a 

way that wouldn’t hurt her.  She grabbed at him and was unable to stop the words 

that tumbled of their own accord from her mouth.



"Help me!  I can’t make it stop!"



Usagi crumbled into tears as Mamoru held her.  He whispered soothing words that 

she couldn’t hear.  She cried and moaned and rocked back and forth in a futile 

attempt to fine solace.  The fear that had become her closest companion held her 

tighter than Mamoru ever could.



When the fear began to relax its hold on her, she sank into the strong arms 

around her.  Mamoru helped his only love lay down onto the bed, but never let go 

of her hand.  "Usako, I’m here.  You’re safe now."



Her mind was still fuzzy from the pain killing drugs the doctors had given her, 

making everything seem less than real. It allowed her to speak the words she’d 

kept bottled up inside of herself for so long.



"Safe?  None of us are safe.  It’s going to start again and then I’ll have to 

feel you all die."



Ami came to stand beside her.  She reached out and ran a gentle hand across 

Usagi’s forehead.  "We don’t understand, Usagi-chan.  Why don’t you tell us what 

you mean?"



"Don’t you see?  Another enemy will come.  One always comes and then he’ll kill 

everyone" The nightmare jumble of visions and feelings that haunted her had a 

life of their own now, and refused to silenced.  "The ginzuishou restored you so 

you wouldn’t remember, but I do!  I remember every moment and I know that it’s 

going to happen again if I relax."



"Remember what?" asked Mina softly.  



Usagi’s eyes were flat and dull as she looked at her friend.  "How you died. I 

told the ginzuishou to let you live and be happy so it removed all of the 

memories of the pain."  Usagi replied with a hollow voice.  "You can’t remember 

it but I can!"



Mamoru remained as calm as he could.  "How long?"  He managed to ask softly, 

"How long have you had these memories?"



Usagi wanted to stop talking about this, but found she couldn’t.  "Since Luna 

awoke me when the Doom Tree arrived."  She’d opened a part of her that refused 

to be closed off any longer.  "I thought I could handle it.  I did for a while, 

then Galaxia came.  She killed you all one by one.  After you were… restored, 

the pain of all of you dying, the memories of it, wouldn’t go away."



"And the fear, too."  Added Michiru gently.



"And the fear." Usagi admitted.  "I keep watching for signs of a new enemy so 

all of you won’t be hurt, so I can keep you all safe.   So I won’t have to feel 

you die again.  But I can’t make the memories stop anymore! I see in my head 

over and over and over…"



Mako was on the verge of tears from the pain in Usagi’s voice.  "We’ll help you 

Usagi-chan, any way we can.  Just tell us what to do!"



"I don’t know what to do, Mako.  The thoughts start and they just keep going in 

circles no matter what I try.  It hurts here," she took her fist and thumped it 

between her breasts.  "Like someone’s put burning ice where my heart used to be.  

I just want it to stop!"



Haruka was there, a silent, strong presence in the back of the room. "Is that 

why you didn’t try to get out of way, Usagi - to make it stop?"



"I didn’t plan it, but when I saw that the car was going to hit me, all I could 

think of is that it was finally over."  She began weep again and Mamoru climbed 

into the bed to hold her against his chest.  "That there wouldn’t be any more 

pain…  I’m so sorry!"



"It’s going to be all right, Usagi-chan." Said Ami gently.  She took the weeping 

girls cold hand in her own.  "Listen to me, there are ways to learn to cope with 

this.  I can’t promise you that there will never be any more pain, but I can 

promise that it’s possible to learn to control it."



Sympathy came from the last place Usagi expected it.  Rei came to where Mamoru 

held her and knelt down reaching out a hand.  "Please forgive me, Usagi.  You 

aren’t weak or a coward and I hate myself for letting you think you are.  For 

letting you think you couldn’t come to me for help!  Please, please let us help 

you."



Usagi hovered between endless despair and hope.  She wanted to believe there was 

a way out of the trap she was in, but was terrified that it wouldn’t work.  That 

the pain that consumed her would never end. Looking at the faces of the people 

who loved her, Usagi wondered if she had the strength to try anymore. 



As if sensing her inner most thoughts, Mamoru held her close.  "We have died for 

you, Usako, because we all love you."  He placed his cheek on hers as he 

whispered.  "Now we ask you to live for us."



In the end, she considered, Mamoru asked the hardest thing of all.



"Please Usagi, live for us."





			********************





The drizzle had finally stopped and a fresh breeze chased away the remaining 

fog.  The clouds were beginning to break, allowing the light from a waning moon 

to fall on the city of Tokyo.  But across the street from St. Mary’s hospital, 

the remaining low, dark clouds drew together and coalesced.  It carefully 

shunned the places where the moonlight fell as it moved deeper into the shadows.



Within the roiling, black mass, a figure of a man was dimly visible.  He wore 

the shadows like a cloak, letting them take him into the air. The malevolent 

cloud stopped just outside the room where Tsukino Usagi lay.  The figure’s eyes 

briefly flashed an angry red as a harsh, guttural whisper filled the air.



"I almost had you, Princess." Came the ravaged voice. "You only delay the 

inevitable.  I will have my revenge and I will have it soon."



The shadows began to melt like a nightmare into the darkness.  Even as it did, 

the echo of that voice lingered on the wind.  



"…Soon…"







AUTHOR’S NOTES – Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is all too real.  It can affect 

anyone regardless of age, race or economic background.  If you are suffering 

with reoccurring nightmares, or flashbacks to a traumatic event, please know 

that there is help available.  You can learn to take control again.  The pain 

can stop.  You can learn to live with this.



Always remember that death is never the answer.  As the story says - if you 

think you can’t live with the memories, then live for those who love you.