This story is rated PG-13. It contains violence and themes that while not sexual in nature, may be too intense for more sensitive readers. Caution is advised. We are all haunted by different things. It may simply be the memory of an embarrassing event or a childhood fright. For others it's something much darker. By and large, we can keep these memories in their proper place and go on with life. But some of us experience times when past sorrows or traumas threaten to overwhelm us. This story is dedicated those who fight their demons daily and survive. It's also in loving memory for those who fought those demons as hard as they could, for as long as they could, but lost to them. A gracious thank you to Masked Maiden and J-Chan for their willingness to be a sounding board for me. Thanks also to everyone who has taken the time to write to me about this story. As always, you can send comments, critiques or commitment papers to Mearari@aol.com – and remember to be kind. The good you do comes back to you, but bad karma is forever. Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or any of the attendant characters to which valid copyright laws apply. They are used here without permission and for no intended monetary gain. "Moonfall" By Meara Chapter Five The Shadowlord, who had been known as Lucien of the Moon Kingdom in life, looked at the young woman huddled on the floor. He had waited over a thousand years for this moment and he wanted to savor it. With the acquisition of her soul, he would begin his climb up the corporate ladder of hell. Lucien would be important, again. There would be power. There would be creatures that fawned over him. There would be beings that begged for his attention. It was everything he'd ever wanted. The Usagi/personality must be gone by now. He was sure of that. The Shadowlord was convinced that he'd broken her spirit. No mind could possibly endure the carefully constructed torture he'd arranged. When Lucien had seen the terran Usagi actually change into the last Princess of the Silver Millenium, he'd knew in his black heart that victory was his. The white dress was torn and dirty now. The Princess was shaking and curled into a fetal position. She rocked back and forth moaning her denials softly. The pain she was in had her locked into a prison of his making. It was his moment of triumph. His only regret was that Serenity's mother wasn't there to see her precious daughter damn herself. Just as Shadowlord prepared to offer Serenity her only was out, one of the shadows at his command slithered up his arm and whispered in his ear. "They are coming, Shadowlord. More Senshi have come! The Guardians lead these Senshi and the Prince to her - to you. Your plan fails." Lucien grabbed the shadow with a free hand and squeezed at it. "What do you mean 'Guardians' and 'more Senshi"? Have you allowed others to enter the field of play? They may have the knowledge to stop me!" The shadow screamed shrilly as he crushed it into an oily mass that dribbled between his fingers. With a small gesture, he summoned a new servant. "Stop them." He said simply. "Use all the power at my command if you must, but stop them!" Every dark place except the shadows that made up his cloak ran together into a black, roiling mass, then disappeared. Shadowlord leaned over Serenity and extended a hand that held an ornate dagger once more. The blade was the focus for his power, and she must use it for him to take her soul. "There's only way out, Serenity," he said, letting his harsh voice fill the cavern. "There's only one way out." ******************** The fact that this place was less than real was evident in a number of ways. Mamoru, as Endymion, was encased in a soft golden glow that made even his black armor seem radiant. The rest of Senshi were also covered by a soft glow in their colors. Both Artemis and Luna were no longer small, delicate cats, but huge and powerful lions. Mina had been running between Artemis and Luna. Her mind turned over the events of that had led them to this point. "So the bodies we have here are a reflection of the way we think about ourselves?" She asked. "Is that why you two are so…big?" "We are called guardians for a reason." Replied Luna. "This is the way legend tells us we were in the distant past. The story says we allowed ourselves to be changed by the Ginzuishou. In exchange for size and strength we gained greater intellect and a place of honor in the Silver Millenium." Lion or no, Artemis was still essentially Artemis. "For some reason people were put off by a cat that could eat you as a light snack – go figure!" "Your current forms are better suited to this situation." Remarked Pluto. "I cannot believe that we will be able to find where the Shadowlord holds Usagi without meeting further resistance." "Yes, we must be careful, " said Luna, moving to keep pace with Mamoru. "This Shadowlord may have set a gate in place to keep us from reaching him – and Usagi. "So how will we know it when we see it?" asked Makoto sprinting to catch up with her. One of the few good things about this place was that she could run and never seem to tire. "Won't this guy try to disguise it?" As they turned the corner, Luna stooped short. Mako plowed into her, and Rei fell over them both. The Senshi of Jupiter looked up at the solid, ebony wall that barred their path. "Or maybe not…" Mumbled Mako. Rei stood and placed a hand on the wall. It was large, dark and seemed to swallow the light instead of reflecting it. "This is a place where Shadowlord had pooled all his power. If we can break through it, I'm willing to bet that Usagi is on the other side." "Can you banish it, like an evil spirit?" Asked Mina. In reply Rei pulled a strip of paper from thin air. "In the name of the power of the Eternal One, I command this evil to be gone! Aku Ryo Tai San!" The paper burned with supernatural fire and stiffened as she placed on the wall's surface. It flashed once and as it did, the wall shuddered. It small cracks appeared in it, but the barrier remained intact. She picked up the paper and it crumbled to dust in her fingers. "Not by myself, it seems." The blessing may not have removed the wall, but it did have an effect on it. The ebony surface seethed, bubbling and twisting. A long black shadow emerged from it, then resolved into the now familiar shape of a large, black snake. The abomination drew itself up to its full height and called to the warriors "Who shall be the first to suffer?" It hissed. "How about you, snake eyes?" Mako answered for them all. With no preface at all she shouted, "Supreme Thunder!" And watched with satisfaction as the creature was struck by a thunderous bolt of power that left it dead and twitching. It dissolved into an oily, rank stain on the floor. Uranus came up to Jupiter and put a hand on her shoulder. "Nicely done, Mako-chan. Feel better now?" "A little" conceded Mako. "That was almost too easy for me. I want to make one of those things hurt the way we have – the way Usagi-chan is!" An ebony fog obscured their vision momentarily. When it lifted, four snakes barred their path. "You must pass by us, mortal fools!" "You were saying?" asked Haruka. Mamoru hadn't spoken a word since they'd left to find Usagi. With a howl of pure rage he drew the sword that he carried as the last crown prince of Earth. As he ran for the reptile closest to him, he called out HER name as if his voice could carry the power of his love to her. "Usako" he shouted, "Hold on! I'm coming!" ******************** The pain wouldn't stop, no matter what she did it just wouldn't stop. Scenes of horror played endlessly before her. Usagi reached for the Silver Crystal, but it would not come to her this time. It had finally happened, she knew. The sacred stone had found out that she was unworthy to wield its dreadful power and had left her. They were dying, and this time she could not save them – or herself. "Who are you to have such a thing a the Ginzuishou?" Came the voice. It told her truths she'd tried to deny for too long. "A stupid, lazy, ugly girl like you, holder of the power of the Silver Millenium? You have shamed the memory of your mother, the Queen. You are a disgrace and an embarrassment. You would be much better off dead, you know." Abruptly, the carnage before Usagi stopped. There was only silence, blessed silence, where there had been screaming. "Now," Came that voice again, "Isn't this much better? The darkness calls you, Serenity. It promises to end your suffering. It promises eternal peace." A small star appeared in the darkness, and she raised her head to look at it. "Beautiful, isn't it? Such a tiny thing to give you so wonderful a gift as silence." An ornate dagger dropped to the ground beside her. "Take it, child and use it. This is your way, Serenity. Your only way out." She wanted to reach for it, to end the pain once and for all. Something inside Usagi held her back and she shook her head, "I can't, I just can't!" The dagger vanished as suddenly as it appeared. "Very well." Said the voice, disappointed. "Then live with your pain. Live with it forever." Without warning it started again. She was crushed by the weight of her loved ones suffering. It went on so long that she could not remember what life had been like without the agony. But this time, in the middle of all the screaming, Usagi could have sworn she heard Mamo-chan's voice. She grabbed at the memory of him to keep from drowning in the sea of her sorrows. Usagi didn't care if it was just the illusion that the dark voice told her it was. She didn't care if meant that she really was insane. The promise of love in Mamoru's voice had the power to keep her whole, to keep her from shattering. And so she endured the unendurable. ******************** It was payback time. With a frightening ferocity Mamoru and the Senshi attacked the four, black harbingers of death. The monstrous creatures seemed almost puzzled at their lack of success. Ami and Haruka had managed to draw one of the snakes away from its fellows by pretending to flee. As anticipated, the reptile lunged after them and away from the protection of the pack. Ami abruptly turned on the snake and gathered her power. "Shine Aqua – Illusion!" A pile driver wave of water stunned the beast even as it froze it in solid ice. Only the eyes of the snake moved. They widening in alarm as Sailor Uranus raised her hand and shouted, "World Shaking!" Bright power churned the dark ground as it headed for the monster. It impacted with the snake and shattered it into a million black pieces. Sailor Venus nimbly dodged to one side as the venomous demon, fangs gaping, tried to strike her. As the snake extended itself to its full length she raised her hand and called out, "Venus Love me Chain!". With skill and deftness, the soldier of love guided the power until it completely encircled the beast. Snapping her hand shut, she pulled the chain taunt. Rei stepped calmly forward. She pulled out a strip of paper and shouting "Aku Ryo Tai San", slapped it onto the demon's head. It worked as expected this time. The snake was suddenly paralyzed and unable to move. With her mind clear Rei realized that this was the reason she had always been targeted first. Her ability as a Shinto Priestess to cleanse evil would have ruined the Shadowlord's intended show. It was with immense satisfaction, she called out, "It's barbecue time, snake boy! Fire Soul!" Flames burst from her hands and incinerated the snake to black ash. She flashed Mina a grin, "You hook 'em, I cook 'em." Sailor Neptune was working with Jupiter on the third member of the rapidly disappearing pack. This one seemed a little smarter than its fellows did. Pausing, it gathered into the shape of a roiling cloud, then settled back into the snake form. But with two heads this time. It gave a hissing laugh, swaying back and forth. "Dead Scream." With the whisper came a rush of violet energy that blasted the second head right off the monster. From the corner of her eye, Mako saw Pluto standing with the Timestaff in her hands. The vestiges of power evaporating into lilac fog. She set her staff at her side and gestured graciously with her hand. "Your turn, Neptune, I believe." The gentle Senshi of Neptune gave a vicious smile. She reached to her side and took up her mirror. Bringing it up to her face she called out, "Submarine Reflection!" A blast of light hit the monster in its weakest spot. Before the creature could even try to react, Makoto lifted her arms high. "Jupiter Oak Evolution!" Dozens of razor sharp leaves sliced into the snake, finishing the work Neptune had started. With an explosion and a shriek of pain, it collapsed to the ground, quite dead. It dissolved into an oily mass that flowed away. Luna had gone for the last snake's throat. With a roar of anger she sank fangs into the putrid flesh of the demons neck. The beast still writhed, whipping its huge body back and forth. Artemis went for the snake's tail. Between the two of them they held it still long enough for Mamoru to finish the job. He raised his sword high and with two hands thrust it into the monsters black heart. The snake exploded into dark dust that floated away on the wind. ******************** Shadowlord was beginning to feel the first tinges of fear. Things were not going the way he'd planned. By now, Serenity should have gladly taken her own life. Lucien gave a glance to the figure that sat at his feet. She rocked slowly back and forth with her arms hugging her knees. No coherent sound came from her, just the distressed whimpering he'd worked so hard to induce. An unpleasant thought drifted his mind. He might fail in his plan to bring the soul of Serenity to his master. That notion was almost enough to make him start whimpering along with Serenity. Lucian enjoyed the power he now held and was promised even more if could fulfill his end of the bargain he'd struck. But his punishment if he failed had also been very vividly detailed. The Shadowlord glanced at a corner of the cavern. Something new had been added to the dreary décor. A door was vaguely outlined at the top of three ghostly stairs. Inset into the middle of the door was golden stained glass in the shape of a crescent moon. He stared at it for a long moment before he realized that Serenity had stopped rocking and moaning. He looked at her to see that she had followed his line of sight and actually perceived the door. That shouldn't be possible! "They have left you, Serenity, because you couldn't keep them all safe!" He leaned over her and took up his litany again. He knew what words would start her on the downward spiral and used them viciously. "Your friends found you no longer worth their pain and deserted you. Alone - you are left alone to suffer without end. But you have your memories don't you? Remember the pain. Remember the sorrow of loss. Remember that it will start all over again, when ever you relax for even a moment." That should be enough to reseal Serenity into the endless loop he'd fostered in her mind. He would break her, Lucien told himself. And he'd need not hurry. There was no way the Guardians could break through the barrier he'd put into place. They were, after all, mere mortals. "There's only one way out, Serenity." Shadowlord stood over her smaller figure and offered her the blade. "Only one way out." Usagi raised head her to look at him and made a small strangled sound deep in her throat. Her body shuddered once then collapsed onto the ground. With her head cocked to one side, she stared up at Shadowlord with unseeing eyes. ******************** It had been decided that they would try to break the wall by blasting open the largest of the cracks that had appeared. After trying to widen it first one at a time, then by combining attacks, a possible solution was finally thought of. "We need a focus for the power." Said Luna. "Like hitting a diamond in the one spot that can break it." "Positive power to counter the dark energy." Added Artemis. "Yes," agreed Pluto, "A single place where we can pool our powers together." Mamoru's midnight armor flowed and shifted back into Tuxedo Kamen. He placed his hand on his heart for a long moment. In it appeared a white rose that seemed to radiate silver moonlight. "Straight from the heart. That should do it." Said Artemis. They all gathered in a small circle and one, by one, touched the rose. "Heart of Fire." Started Rei. A single petal of the flower began to burn. "Heart of Ice." A single crystal of ice formed next to the fire. "Heart of Sea." A wave formed into the shape of a petal and found its place. "Heart of Sky." A howling wind in the shape desired joined in its proper place. "Heart of Storm." Lightning fashioned the next petal. "Heart of Eternity." A violet petal was added to the rose. It glowed steadily. "Heart of Love" Brilliant golden light infused a single petal. Tuxedo Kamen took the flower in his hand and raised it over his head. "Shadowlord," he shouted at the wall, "You have taken acts of love and friendship and twisted them to your own ends." Putting his weight behind the throw, he tossed the multi-colored rose into the center of the largest crack. It began pulse with all the colors it held. A slow hum came from it as the power built. Tuxedo Kamen pointed one hand at the rose. "We have come to stop your evil. It ends now, monster!" The rose gave a burst of song and exploded into light that held all the colors of the rainbow. The darkness shuddered as it tried in vain to absorb and counter that light. With an inhuman shriek, the wall shattered to dust. Tuxedo Kamen saw the Shadowlord standing over a prostrate Usagi with a knife. Luna and Artemis came to flank him, teeth bared and hackles raised. The Senshi stood in a semi-circle in back of him. "You have harmed my beloved for your own selfish ends! That Tuxedo Kamen will never forgive!"" Luna and Artemis gave a deafening roar and launched themselves at Shadowlord. He shouted in fear and threw his arms straight out. Oily black shadows came from them. They struck first Luna and then Artemis, pinning them to the ground within a sticky mass. The Outers had took advantage of his spilt attention and went for Lucien. Before he could react again, Pluto had her now pulsing Staff pressed against what passed for his neck. Uranus and Neptune helped slam the Shadowlord into a wall. Haruka drew her space sword and pointed the blazing weapon at his midsection. She drew back her arm in preparation. "No!" Called Michiru. "Don't kill him, not yet." She glanced at Usagi who remained unmoving on the floor. "We may need him to undo what he has done to the Princess." Pluto leaned hard on her staff and saw, with more than a little satisfaction, that it caused the monster pain. "We will hold him here." She called to Mamoru and the Inners; "You help Usagi." "Fools, she can no longer hears your words!" The Shadowlord gave a small laugh. "Serenity hears only my voice." He collected himself with effort and began his litany. "They have come so it may start again, Serenity. They can never be safe! You must feel them suffer and die once more." Shadowlord concentrated all his remaining power on one last effort. "It is as I told you. This pain is never ending. As long as you live they will suffer and die and you must feel it. You have nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to but eternal agony. There's only one way out, Serenity. You know there's only one way to stop the pain forever. You must die for them to be safe!" Lucien gave a strangling sound as his ability to speak was cut off. Pluto leaned on the Timestaff until her arms hurt from the effort. "If you are not silent this moment, I swear I'll lean so hard on this staff that your head will explode!" Mamoru collected Usagi in his arms, holding her as he would a child. Her once spotless white dress was ragged, torn and dirty. As he cradled her close, Mamoru looked into eyes that were wide and unseeing. "Usako? I'm here now. Everything's going to be all right." Mamoru held her tightly against him. "You have so much to live for. There's so much I have to say to you. You have to come back to me." Rei's attention was drawn, almost against her will to one quiet corner of the pit. As she concentrated, she could dimly see the outline of a door that had three steps leading to it. What that meant burst in her mind. "Ascend the three stairs to sanctuary…" she mumbled then said, "I know what's happened and that bozo over there had didn't do it! Usagi's all but left this body. She's gone into the imaginary sanctuary I taught her how to build." "How do we make her come out of it?" Asked Mamoru, desperation creeping into his voice. Rei looked alarmed, "That's the problem, we can't force her to come out. She has to want to do it. Usagi has to hear us calling her." ******************** Usagi sat in the middle of a silent garden. There was no birdsong, or even the sound of the wind to keep her company. She didn't care, she told herself. The voice had stopped hurting her. She was safe here and Usagi didn't want to go back to a world of pain. But it was so lonely sometimes. If she listened, she could almost hear Mamo-chan's voice calling her, telling her to come back. Sounds began to drift into the garden as she paid attention to her beloved's voice. Others? Others were calling her, too? Mako, Rei, Ami, Mina, were they calling her? "Do you remember that day in the elevator?" Mamoru's voice asked. "When you transformed into Sailor Moon right in front of me? I was so surprised." And she could see that day, suddenly. It came back to her so very clearly. "Did I ever tell you what I was thinking?" He continued. Well, I'll tell you now, Usako. I thought, 'Oh my God, Usagi is naked! And boy is she stacked.' I'd gladly stand in that burning elevator again just to see you naked." This caused a small laugh from Usagi. Mamoru's voice continued, "There is always good with the bad. We were fighting for our lives that day, but I found out you love me as much as I love you." Usagi turned and saw Mamoru's form outlined like a ghost. "You have so much to live for, Usako. We're going to get married and start a life together. We'll have that big wedding you've always talked about. Chibi-Usa is waiting to be born, and maybe other children too. Please come back to me." Rei's image joined him. "I want us all to raise our children together Usagi. I want to see them grow up the best of friends the way we are. You promised we'd never be alone, remember Usagi? As long as we trust each other, we can never be alone again. We are here for you, come back to us." Ami now appeared, "I want be there to help deliver those children, Usagi-chan. We can watch the future happen, as they grow – happy and strong. You don't have to protect us anymore." Said Ami. "We will take care of each other. Together the Senshi can over come anything! Come back to us!" "Don't you want to be an Aunt, Usagi-chan?" Came Mako, "'Cause I plan having lots of little ones! But first you have to help me find the right man. I need your help to plan the wedding and how I'll decorate our first home. There's so much happiness ahead of us, come back to us. I need you Usagi-chan. You, Rei-chan, Ami-chan, Mina- chan and the others. I found something with all of you I never thought I could have again. You're my family now; and families should be together. Please come back to us." "You always said you wanted to able to say you knew me before I became a famous model." Said Mina as her image completed the group. "Well you have to come back so you can do that, Usagi-chan. I need my friends around me, or what's the point of being a success?" Mina had tears in her eyes as she called with mind and heart. "You always believed in life Usagi-chan. Don't give up on life now, come back to us." Usagi was torn for a long moment. It was so quiet here; so safe and peaceful. If she stayed here, she'd never feel any pain again. Or any joy, she realized. Making her decision, Usagi reached for Mamoru and her friends. Mako was right. They were a family. And, yes she decided, families should be together. ******************** Mamoru was holding her tightly, whispering to her. He stopped as she raised a hand to his cheek. The look of joy on Mamoru's face made her heart glad again. Usagi looked at him and gave a weak smile. The pain was still there, but she was able to push it aside so that it no longer consumed her. "Tuxedo Kamen, Minna, you came." "Don't you know, Usako?" he said, paraphrasing a very old line, "I'll always come." The sticky mass holding Luna and Artemis vanished into the air. They rose and gave themselves a shake before shrinking back to normal proportions. The ornate dagger rose from the ground also, spinning. With a shriek, it exploded into fine, black powder. With it broke the last vestiges of Shadowlord's power. "Noooo!" Shadowlord howled his denial at them. Pluto, Uranus and Neptune backed away from him as the cloak of shadows that had covered him melted like fog before the morning sun. What he was now became plainly visible to all. His body was a mass of badly healed burn scars. They pulled him in hideous directions that caused him to stand at twisted angles. The white dress began to regenerate and regain it subtle sheen. Usagi allowed herself to dare to feel hope again as Mamoru helped her to her feet. The pitiful figure continued to shout at her. "You can't - you can't want to live! You have to die! It isn't fair! You have to want to die!" Mina brought one hand to her ear in an exaggerated gesture. "Loser says what..?" Lucien screamed and jerked his hands in front of his eyes. From inside the hands came a black glow. It burst into an ebony flame that ran up his arms and leapt into his chest cavity. His body burned with midnight fire as he shrieked and collapsed against the wall. Within seconds, all that remained of him was a small pile of black ashes. Taking great care, Haruka leaned over and spat once on the smoldering cinders. "Does anyone have a clue as to who that guy was?" Asked Mako. "No one of importance, I'm sure." Replied Pluto. The bodies they were currently in started to fade away. There was the sensation of floating upwards as Usagi felt Mamoru put an arm around her. A quick squeeze reassured her. "Let's go home." ******************** Usagi sat in a room that was carefully decorated with quiet, pastel colors. She exhaled nervously and wondered for the fifth time in the last five minutes if this was such a good idea. She'd so hoped that with the Shadowlord gone, the dreams and the fears would also go away. They didn't, however, and Usagi knew in her heart that she had to get help. "The therapist isn't going to believe my story." She'd said, worried. Ami, Mako, Rei and Mina had looked at one another and shrugged. "If you have to, take out your henshin locket and transform. That should convince the Doctor that you're telling the truth." Ami responded reasonably. Usagi could do little more than just stare at them for a long moment. "But, but" she finally managed to say, "But what if the Doctor tells someone? The whole world could find out who we really are." Rei looked at the others then answered for them all with arms folded across her chest. "Then we'll handle it the same way we handle everything." "By eating and gossiping?" smiled Mako with wink. Mina leaned over and gave her thump on the back of the head. "No." She said, "By handling it together. All of us." And so Usagi found herself in a place she really didn't want to be. Before she could talk herself into leaving, the door opened. A woman of middle years entered and sat down in the chair across from her. "Hello, Usagi, I'm Naoko. In reading Dr. Mizuno's referral, she thinks you might be suffering with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. You've been having nightmares, anxiety attacks and flashbacks for how long now?" "Almost a year." Usagi admitted slowly. "I'm not sure what you'll make of my story about what caused it, but I have to try and get a handle on this problem." "And what made you decide to finally come in for treatment?" Usagi gave a smile that filled the small room with sunshine. She looked down at the engagement ring on her finger for a moment. It sparkled with promise for the future. There was certainty in her eyes when she lifted her head to speak. "It seems I have a lot to live for." ******************** "So these three things continue forever: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love." Corinthians 13:13 ********************